The Adrastos Wayback Machine

This site is a partial archive of my 2005-2011 blog-city blog. Why a partial record? It’s a pain in the ass to upload the .xml files to any site so I’m opting for a Best of Adrastos approach here at WordPress.

I don’t expect to put all of my favorite posts up at once. Instead, I’ll be moving slowly and posting in an oddly methodical fashion for such a haphazard writer. My focus will be on New Orleans in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and the Federal Flood but I’ll branch out to make sure that the Best of Adrastos reflects my quirks as a blogger. You were warned. More warnings after the break.

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The Vitter Files

412020301 VITTY CENT LEAVES THE BUNKER Mon, 16 Jul 2007 18:04:25

This just in: reknown whoremonger wuss and winger Senator David Vitter will *finally* emerge from seclusion and face the proverbial music some time around 5PM. I expect that he’ll make a brief statement and then skedaddle without taking questions. WWL promises live coverage on the teevee and the net. LINK.

Oyster has linked to posts by 2 principled Louisiana conservative bloggers who are calling for Vitter to zip up his pants (unpin his diaper?) and resign. Well done gentleman. LINK.

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412020398 VITTY’S MODIFIED LIMITED HANGOUT Mon, 16 Jul 2007 22:44:27

I’m in the throes of having another Nixon era flashback after watching Vitty Cent’s brief and ineffective appearance in Metry. Vitty only admitted to the DC madam story and continues to deny any other whoring and/or diapering about. The mystery of Vitty’s statement is why it took him so long if his plan was to continue stonewalling. Where’s Tricky Dick when a Republican in trouble needs him? Dead. It’s damn thoughtless of him…

The high point for me was when Vitty attempted to make his problem look like a liberal conspiracy and stated flatly that he’d continue fighting for the “same values” as always. It was a vintage snitty snooty Vitty: arrogant and self righteous. He doesn’t do humility well y’all.

His spouse Wendy was slightly more effective but if they think that a 6 minute joint statement without taking any questions will stop the feeding frenzy they’ve got another thing coming. Just wait until he gets back to Washington and tries the “I won’t take any questions about my zipper problems” approach. It will be very interesting to see how Bobby Jindal handles the inevitable questions about his erstwhile ally.

Ahh I love the smell of burning wingnut on a summer evening…

 

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Celcus

411803916 A NEW NOLA BLOG Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:53:02 ”

It’s shameless plug time here at the Adrastos Virtual Cafe. A friend of mine has resumed blogging under the pen name of Celcus. He first blogged last year in lieu of sending out mass emails to friends” romans and countrymen. His blog is called Some Came Running. I’m not really sure if the title is an hommage to the novel by James Jones or the Vincente Minelli helmed film version thereof that starred Frank Sinatra Shirley MacLaine and Dean Martin. Rat Pack city dude.

Celcus prefers to remain anonymous for now. Suffice it to say that he’s another NOLA blogger/activist type. I know him from the activist network and he’s a helluva nice guy and regular reader of this blog. The poor bastard. He also has good taste in music which of course means that we like many of the same people. The last time we met we discussed the comparative merits of bass gods Chris Squire and Tony Levin or summat like that…

Welcome Celcus. I feel as if I should say Hail Caesar while I’m at it. Of course I’m not sure which Caesar I’m hailing: Sid? Claudius? Rosas? Chavez? The salad?

MALAKA OF THE DAY: SEAN PAYTON

MALAKA OF THE DAY: SEAN PAYTON Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:08:33

I usually leave the sports blogging to Dillyberto Mr. Clio Mr. Gloomy Pants and the late great Perfesser. They’re better informed about the hometown NFL team than I am BUT Saints Head Coach Sean Payton has been making what the Brits would call a right prat of himself.

Payton seems to have sucumbed to what could be called “coaching genius syndrome” after signing his contract extension. In short Payton thinks he’s smarter than everyone else which has led to his outsmarting himself. The Saints have now lost two games they should have won in part due to Payton’s sense of papal infallibility coaching division as well as to the team’s inability to run the ball.

The thing however that makes Payton a malaka involves his use or lack thereof of veteran running back Deuce McAllister. Deuce has suited up for all three games and has carried the ball only twice. By his own admission Deuce is not the player he was in his prime BUT if he’s 75% of the old Deuce he’s still a good player and one with more heart and hustle than Payton’s pet Reggie (Douchebag) Bush.

The short yardage situations in Denver screamed for a power runner like Deuce. Instead he stood on the sidelines and watched the team fail repeatedly. Payton’s response: Deuce’s time will come. The Picayune’s John DeShazier made an excellent point this morning: if Deuce can’t help the team why dress him? LINK. How much worse could he have done than Pierre Thomas? Of course Pierre is one of Payton’s guys and he inherited Deuce. Nuff said.

Payton should swallow his pride and stop strutting around like President Beavis on Mission Accomplished day. Payton had a great first season but is now 19-18 in New Orleans. That record hardly makes him the reincarnation of Vince Lombardi. So Coach stop being such a malaka and either play Deuce or cut him. If he plays well the team looks good and if he’s washed up as you seem to think you’ll be proven right about him which you’ll like since you always think you’re right.

One more thing: I wonder when Jeffrey will start clamoring for Coach Soupy’s head. He’s in favor of  Les Miles getting fired by LSU even *after* the national championship. Is he consistent or merely a contrarian? Look on the bright side Pants if Payton gets fired before the end of his contract Tom Benson is out a bundle.

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NO LAURELS FOR CHEHARDY

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:38:22

Fans of a single tax assesor for Orleans must have winced when they learned that Jefferson Parish Asssessor Lawrence Chehardy pulled some strings that led to Latter & Blum firing its President Arthur Sterbcow. LINK. His offense was to work with the Picayune on a story about property values in JP which was mildy critical of a certain assessor. Sterbcow did the same thing in Orleans back in 2004. He kept his job then. Hmm what’s the difference: the “powerful” JP assessor Mr. Chehardy. Mr. Sterbcow stepped on Chehardy’s toes and one should never dance with a big foot. They’ll stomp you like an errant palmetto bug every time. Splat. Squash.

The only good thing about this episode is that it gave me  a reason to use a title that’s been in my virtual back pocket for several years. I am however sorry that someone lost their job because they did something public spirited. I only hope that Erroll Wiliiams won’t go Chehardy on us when he’s the single assessor.

Hmmm now where did I put my copy of Saps At Sea? This is another fine mess for the goo-goos; it’s enough to make Stan cry and blubber like a little girl.

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THE MAYOR’S RACE AS SITCOM

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:53:27

I’m beginning to warm to the New Orleans Mayor’s race; not because of substance there doesn’t appear to be any. The race as it slowly takes shape seems to have strong elements of farce. It won’t make for good guvmint but the comic possibilities are seemingly endless. It could be sitcomtastic or is that sitcomlicious?

There’s James Dot Com Perry who’s running his campaign on Twitter and Facebook and seems to spend much of his time raising money out of state. It’s a pity: James Dot Com is *potentially* an interesting outsider candidate but he needs to shut down his laptop stop tweeting and knock on some doors to meet some actual voters. This virtual candidacy thing is from hunger unless there’s some shoe leather expended in support of it. We’ve already had the Wizard of Oz for Mayor we don’t need a virtual one to replace  him.

 

Leslie Jacobs seems to be flirting with the idea of running even though her expertise such as it is is in education and the Mayor has bupkis to do with the schools. But she *is* rich and Sandy Rosenthal is her sister-in-law which could lead to a loose cannon relative sub-plot and that’s *always* fun. I was under the impression however that Ms. Jacobs is a Mike Foster Republican and this town isn’t going to elect a White Gooper. Just ask Rob Couhig. Oops poor comparison Ms Jacobs has a full head of hair and isn’t notably obnoxious… UPDATE: Ms. Jacobs had a meet and greet last night and said that she was a “lifelong Democrat” despite her association with Foster. That’s a fact that she needs to get out there. 

John Georges continues to disprove the notion that all Greeks have a bit of Zorba in them. He’s an opa nopa y’all. Mr. Georges has more money than God but no discernible personality. The only thing interesting about the vending machine magnate is his wobbly political journey from Republican to Independent to Democrat. (Hmm I wonder if he plans to revive the Whig party next?)  He mistakenly thinks that running first in Orleans Parish in the 2007 Governor’s race is significant when it was all about the street money. Georges has enough cold hard cash to finish as high as second or third in an open field but if he’s elected Mayor I will eat one of Mark Folse’s straw hats under the gaze of General/President Jackson in the Square. Having said that I do find Georges’ delusions of grandeur to be most amusing. He could play the eccentric millionaire who’s so dull that he’s funny in our sitcom. Yeah that’s the ticket.

Ed Murray’s part in the campaign is obvious: every sitcom needs a straight man and who’s duller than Ed? Well John Georges is but he’s already been cast. Murray’s main asset is that he’s not C Ray Nagin: a man who dreams big and delivers small. Murray looks increasingly like the tortoise in this race but now that I think of it there aren’t any hares. I have one suggestion for Murray to liven things up: he could claim to be baseball Hall of Famer Eddie Murray to capture the vital Orioles fan vote…

Mitch Landrieu is doing some polling to see if he should think again about considering to run even though he said he wouldn’t. I like Mitch; he’s a nice guy with a fine tenor singing voice but the Hamlet act is wearing thin. He’s becoming the Adlai Stevenson of NOLA politics: a guy who can’t make up his mind and wears his indecision on his sleeve. Adlai only won one election in his life so Mitch has that beat; except in New Orleans Mayoral races where he’s 0 and 2. Of course if he does run the Landrieus can revive their brother and sister act: Mary is currently dancing the old soft shoe about health care reform after all…

 

Finally I am somewhat alarmed about the impact that this sitcom of an election is having on Clancy DuBos. He seems to be channeling some movie or tevee wise guy in his latest column but I’m not sure which one it is. It can’t be Joey Pants from The Sopranos Jeffrey’s already got the pants angle zipped locked up. Clancy’s too tall to be Al Pacino in any of his wise guy roles although the fuhgettaboutit shtick is straight out of Donny Brasco. Hmm now that I think of it Clancy is more like Nathan Detroit of Guys and Dolls fame. Our local Damon Runyon Ronnie Virgets has been known to turn a colorful phrase or three in the pages of the Gambit after all. Btw Ronnie would be an outstanding recurring character in our wee sitcom: the zany Yat in a loud shirt who breezes in cracking wise and then takes every one off to the race track. Hilarity ensues..

 

Oh well this race could make the sanest person crazy and drive a Mormon to drink but at least it’s entertaining. It’s a pity however that the stakes are so high: the city is crying out for leadership and instead I’m casting a sitcom which is particularly ironic since the *original* 2010 frontrunner was Oliver the actor whose act is currently wowing them in the big house. 

 

FAWER POWER

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 05:18:40

No this isn’t about the 40th Anniversary of Woodstock man but about one of the least mellow dudes I’ve ever encountered: Michael Fawer Esquire. Fawer is representing Mose Jefferson in his typical fashion: like a dyspeptic pitbull with a high IQ. I’ve seen Fawer in action and he’s one of the best cross-examiners in the business. A jury will never fall in love with him but they’ll respect the hell out of him and that can be enough to win a close case.

Will Fawer’s skill get Mose Jeff off? I don’t know but his assault on the credibility of convicted felon and corrupt hack Ellenese Brooks-Simms sounds like a masterpiece to me. LINK. The bit about why anyone would bribe a defeated school board member was terrific. Additionally Ms. Brooks-Simms is as lovable as a barracuda with distemper. (I don’t know if fish get distemper but I love both the word and the image.) She’s a crooked machine pol who stole from school children whilst loudly proclaiming herself to be a reformer. Sound familiar? She’s a classic Gret Stet scoundrel y’all.

The weaker part of Fawer’s effort is his claim that Mose gave the barracuda money out of the goodness of his heart even though he’s “not a wealthy man.” I might believe that if we were talking the sort of chump change that that chump Oliver the Actor pocketed: $10 $15 or even $20K. But the feds are alleging that Mose slipped Ms. Brooks-Simms $140K which would buy even a chump a lot of chum old chum. Holy crap I seem to be channeling that international zenzation Fraulein Zally Bowles:

 

I’m really sorry that I shan’t be able to attend the Mose Jeff trial. It would have been sublime to see Fawer the shark match up with Ellenese the barracuda. Fawer has already announced that Mose will take the stand and it will be interesting to see how that goes. Mose Jeff has the reputation of being a plainspoken man of simple tastes so it *could* help his cause BUT as previously noted I am not a fan of putting defendants in the witness box. But if his lawyer has the Fawer Power working it could pay off. Mose Jeff also has the advantage of being tried in Federal Court at Camp Street: NOLA juries are very diiferent from the one that convicted Dollar Bill. One thing the cases have in common in addition to the brothers Johnson Jefferson are lawyers with names that are punworthy. I miss Robert Trout Fishing In America…

Finally it’s time to circle back to the Woodstock reference even if the festival was staged in Bethel but the Bethel generation doesn’t have as much pizzaz. It’s time to segue from Fawer Power to Flower Power:

Hmm now that I think of it this tune has some proto-Fawer Power attitude. It’s easy to imagine the counselor saying “up against the wall motherfucker tear down the wall.”  

THE (FANTASY) LIFE OF RILEY

 Wed, 03 Jun 2009 05:00:19

Someone in NOPD Superintendent Warren Riley’s family must have encouraged him to dream big reach for the stars and all that inspirational hokum. Unfortunately Chief Riley has an alarming tendency to confuse dreams with delusions. Last weekend I was gobsmacked to read that Riley is contemplating running for Mayor. LINK. My initial response was to laugh like a deranged hyena and make jokes about Riley spending too much time in the evidence room. I stopped laughing when I realized that it’s part of a pattern of Nagin-like self-delusion on the part of Riley.

Warren Riley is an unpopular and ineffective police chief running a department that has never recovered from its Katrina trauma. And make no mistake about it: the cops here were traumatized and their leader is a bureaucrat who is as inspirational as a CPA. It’s one of the reasons NOPD is the demoralized mess that it is today.  

 

Chief Riley is now contemplating applying his modest leadership abilities to politics. If he decides to run it won’t be Riley’s first attempt: he lost a race for Sheriff to Marlin Gusman. He ran of course as C Ray’s man and that’s how a run for Mayor would be seen as well. If you like Ray Nagin you’ll love Warren Riley. How’s that for a losing slogan y’all?

 

The last thing New Orleans needs is another Mayor who will surround himself with yes men and overreact to criticism. Warren Riley is just such a man: as his recent dealings with District Attorney Leon Cannizzaro make obvious. The Judge is not one to lash out at someone publicly before making the same criticisms off-stage. Indeed Judge Cannizzaro’s complaints about slow arriving (and badly written) police reports and cops not showing up for court have been made by his predecessors. Riley’s response has been indignation and pettiness. He’s always right because he says he is. Hmm where have we heard that before?

 

The latest petty move by Chief Riley involves NOPD Captain Jeff Winn. LINK.  I’m oversimplifying things but what’s wrong with a bit of oversimplification among friends? Here we go: Winn received some good publicity in the aftermath of Katrina and the flood. That in turn made Riley jealous and he began working to damage Winn by using his bureaucratic skills bury Winn and end his career. But Winn has proven to be a resourceful adversary. Riley dispatched him to the DA’s office as punishment but Winn has done such a good job that Riley has reassigned him in a fit of pique at both the Captain and the Judge. Way to go Chief.

 

Back to Riley’s most recent dispute with Judge Cannizzaro. They have profound philosophical differences. The Judge is a big picture man who wants more detectives so that his office can focus like a laser beam on the most violent offenders by clearing as many cold homicide cases as possible. Riley like the fictional Baltimore police chief in The Wire wants bodies on the street and dope on the table as I pointed out a few years back in this post. Chief Riley seems to believe that by asserting that things are getting better crime-wise they are. It’s another delusion masquerading as a dream which sums up Warren Riley’s tenure as police chief quite nicely.

 

Breaking: Riley has cleared the cops involved in the dubious shooting of Adolph Grimes in Treme on New Year’s Eve. LINK. The officers involved will remain on desk duty pending the results of a federal investigation. Hopefully the feds know the difference between facts and wishful thinking; something Warren Riley has never mastered.

PLANNING DEJA VU

PLANNING DEJA VU Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:50:07

Hippies were big on deja vu the trippy notion that stuff repeats man. The powers that be in Debrisville are also big on deja vu man. There are more fracking planning meetings. In this instance they’re for a master plan as opposed to a recovery plan BUT the recovery planning meetings often covered ideas to be used in a master plan. Additionally there was a  completed but never voted upon master plan pre-K. Do we really need to go back to the drawing board and shell out more consultant fees?

Whassup with this? I realize that some people *love* meetings but the latest planning frenzy seems a bit fishy to me. The pre-K master plan leaned in the preservationist direction which probably made it insufficiently pro-demolition to suit C Ray Kaiser Ed and developers. I gave up in disgust on the planning process after only attending 444 meetings but many of my readers perservered out of either dedication or… uh…perversity. Any of you lot have any thoughts on the latest round? I could be wrong BUT my experience with the planocrats has made me suspicious. 

Speaking of hippies and deja vu here’s CSNY:

THE FOLLOWERS OF CHAOS OUT OF CONTROL

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 16:21:17

Mr. Wet sucks. Let me explain why. He’s one of my best  friends in the NOLA blogosphere BUT the sumbitch stole my Gustav related post title: Achtung Baby. It makes me wonder if he’s a psychic from all those years of wearing a hat and living in the frozen North. (It somehow gives me perverse pleasure to imagine him plugging in his car whilst conversing with a neighbor who sounds like Marge in Fargo. Oh ja you betcha.) But if Folse *is* a psychic I’m thinking he’s a fake; sort of like Sean Spencer the goofy fake psychic tevee detective on Psych. Hmm now that I think of it Mark’s son Matt is a goofball in the Spencerian vein…

Anyway since Mr. Wet stole my thunder I decided to use a line from another great ’80’s “alternative” band REM. The song Disturbance At The Heron House is actually political but the line “the followers of chaos out of control” sums up rather neatly the panic in the air here in Debrisville. Me I’m just cranky that this fracking storm may goose step into town this weekend and force Southern Decadence to cancel. It’s usually a big weekend for Quarter merchants. For the uninitiated Decadence is a cross between boys gone wild and a gay pride event. As my good friend with a thick French accent and a Russian name Paul Nevski once said to me: “During Decadence everyone in the Quarter is gay. Even the ‘omophobes are gay.”

Back to Gustav; at least the motherfracker has a proper scary name. I can respect a storm named Gustav; it evokes saurkraut beer gardens and Prussian militarism. As of now we don’t know where this Teutonic twit of a storm is headed but Dr. A and I are eyeing it cautiously and plan to indulge in a bit of brinksmanhip before deciding what to do which means we’ll be inviting ourselves to my cousin Tina’s house in Dallas if we need to bug out. Katrina was the first time we’d ever gotten out of Dodge and we’re only doing so this time if Gustav is a giant Stasi agent of a storm headed right towards us.

So it’s time to wait watch and prepare. I don’t think freaking out helps anything but I understand why folks who were hit hard in 2005 are flipping out. It’s time for us to be ghouls and root for Gustav to go elsewhere which only people in the Hurricane belt are allowed to do.  I usually hope that storms head to Kleberg County Texas home of the King Ranch where there are more cattle than people. So Gustav moove in that direction so the followers of chaos won’t get out of control: