Daily Archives: January 10, 2006

 Ice, Ice, Baby In The Bank, Bank, Baby

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 03:53:52

I had a busy day running errands, hatching political conspiracies and meeting the Dentist and the Super-Tech’s newborn baby. But the bloggin’ itch came over me much to your despair.

Item-1 Ice, Ice, Baby In The Bank, Bank, Baby: Lines at Debrisville banks are long and slow so I have time to do some people mocking…I mean watching. There was a high school senior/college freshman age guy behind me in line today, he was very white, white, baby. But like so many other suburban youths (pronounced yoot a la Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny) he was wearing the Gap version of gangsta rap clothes: baggy pants and sideways cap. The thing that tickled me was that he was wearing a Boston Red Sox cap.  That made him mos def more Vanilla Ice than Eminem. Hey, Vanilla Ice, the Red Sox were the last team in the big leagues to have an African-American player, the wonderfully named  Pumpsie Green in 1959. I swear I am not making that name up.

At one point Vanilla Ice’s cell phone rang and here’s how he answered: “Yo what up.” All the black people over 30 in line fell out laughing as did your humble blogger. The laughing stock didn’t even notice he was too busy being faux cool. It reminded me of the parody on “In Living Color” with Jim Carrey gyrating to the sound of backup singers going: “He’s white white baby.” That’s right right baby.

Item-2 Hilton University: Historically black Dillard University has re-opened here in Topsy Turvy Town. The Dillard campus was devastated by the storm so the University has taken possession of 30% of the Hilton Riverside Hotel downtown.  Many classes will be held there and 800 students are living at the Hilton. How the hell are they ever gonna get those kids out of their hotel rooms and back to the dorm?  They may have to promise them free beer and iTunes downloads.

Item-3 FEMA Trailer Site Update: Governor Meemaw met with Council Clown Batty on Sunday. They played rock paper scissors: he lost and was obliged to allow trailers to be placed in City Park to house displaced cops and firefighters. Governor Meemaw has yet to meet with the most recalcitrant clown Nimby Clarkson but she’s routed all the others.

As someone who believes in local self-government I  wish that the college of clowns had had the decency and foresight to do the right thing voluntarily without Gubernatorial arm twisting. Give a Louisiana Governor an inch and they’ll take a mile: Huey Long effectively abolished local rule in New Orleans in the 1930’s. If C Ray and the Clowns don’t get their act together federal relief funds might flow exclusively through Baton Rouge which means that our relief money could end up building tennis courts in Shreveport or Bunkie. Wake up and smell the Community Coffee y’all.