Daily Archives: January 26, 2006

BRING BACK THE PONY EXPRESS/AN ENGLISHMAN IN BUNKIE

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 17:07:25

Item-1 Bring Back The Pony Express: Last night I watched Crazytown’s newest and perhaps craziest news show: 6 On Your Side Live featuring WDSU’s irascible anchor Norman Robinson. Norman is one of a flotilla of ex-WWL reporters anchoring at other stations here. It seems to be a requirement to anchor a news show in these parts. Norman is *seriously* cranky y’all. He always appears ready to bite someone’s head off; sort of like an elegant African-American pitbull. Arf arf chew chew bite bite. Pre-K while respecting his talent and intellect I found Norman’s style somewhat annoying. But the Post-K zeitgeist is a cranky one so Norman fits right in. Bite ‘em Norman.  Also Norman has a kind of clipped quasi-strident delivery which reminds me a bit of the late mega-cranky sportscaster Howard Cosell.

Anyway last night one of Norman’s guests/victims in the “Hot Seat” segment   was a hapless spokesman for the Postal Service. His name escapes me and I don’t feel like googling it either so I’ll just call him the Postal Guy. He insisted that they’re making progress in getting mail delivered in Debrisville. I’m not sure if the Postal Guy and I inhabit the same universe: we have mail service twice a week if we’re lucky. And we haven’t gotten a magazine since we’ve been back. Yo Postal Guy I’m getting seriously cranky without the civilizing effects of the New Yorker. I am a lost soul without a fix of my boy Calvin (Bud to his buds) Trillin. A lesser blogger might just go postal on your ass but not me. Just give me my New Yorker and I’ll go easy on you.

Since the mail service in Debrisville blows I have a suggestion for the USPS: bring back the Pony Express. It couldn’t be any slower than what we’ve got now and just imagine the PR value of galloping hoofbeats bringing magazines to the huddled masses of Crazytown. It’s a winner I tell ya…

Item-2 An Englishman In Bunkie: I was horrified to learn that Comus/Momus/Rex historian and TP columnist James Gill spent his exile in Bunkie Louisiana. The mere thought of it had me giggling like a schoolgirl. Mr. Gill is an elegant rather snooty English émigré and Bunkie is well a tiny burg in central Louisiana.

Bunkie is best known as the town that every LSU undergraduate professor uses as a rim shot laugh line. Even a dry wizened prof with no sense of humor can get a laugh just by saying Bunkie. I am glad that Mr. Gill survived his Bunkie experience with his mind intact. Life in Bunkie has been known to turn city folk into raving lunatics. And no gentle readers I have only driven through Bunkie. My lunacy comes from other things such as living next door to Mr. and Mrs. Moron…

CASINO JACK ABRAMOFF & BOB LIVINGSTON’S ZIPPER PROBLEM?

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 06:07:18

An interesting Louisiana related piece of political gossip from Josh Marshall:

Hmmm. Can’t say that’s an angle that would have occurred to me. This off New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams’ column today “Jack Abramoff’s partner Mike Scanlon admitted to digging up former Congressman Robert Livingston’s private life. Set to become speaker Livingston then got sidelined for Tom DeLay’s man Denis Hastert. Prosecutors now checking if Abramoff and Scanlon took Livingston down at DeLay’s behest.”

For now I’ll stick with ‘hmmm’. But I’m eager to hear more. “

Adrastos sez: Hmm indeed. Bob Livingston used to be the Repub Congressman from Metairie. He ran as the sole Repub in the 1987 Governor’s race and finished a dismal third. The campaign was so lame that Le Guv (aka Edwin Edwards) called Bobo the dumbest son-of-a-bitch in Louisiana politics. That summed Livingston up rather nicely but he was a useful idiot who rose through the ranks of House Repubs becoming Chairman of the Appropriations Committee. Livingston for a brief moment was on the verge of becoming Speaker after Newt Gingrich was squeezed out because of his arrogance incompetence and inability to keep either his lip or fly zipped. Livingston’s own zipper problems were leaked to the uncharming Larry Flynt of Hustler magazine repute which led to Livinsgton’s resigning from Congress. He was succeeded in the House by current Louisiana Senator D Vingnut. Thanks Larry. Grrr…

One thing that has struck me during the post-Katrina political crisis is how much political clout Louisiana once had in Congress and how little it was used to deal with our *real* problems: poverty education health care and above all else proper levees and coastal erosion. We had big-time clout over the years: from Hale Boggs to Russell Long to Allan Ellender to Bennett Johnston to Edward Hebert to Bob Livingston to Billy Tauzin to John Breaux. They were all too busy pandering to special interests and delivering a steady diet of highway pork and failed to address our achilles heel: flood control. What a waste of power and influence.

Back to the potential Abramoff/Scanlon takedown of Bobo Livingston. It would be a real bombshell if they went after Bobo at the Bug Man’s behest. It’s my understanding that Abramoff and Scanlon are ratting out everyone they can to save their own scurvy butts. 2006 should be a very interesting year in politics; especially if the Bug Man gets sprayed by his bag man and his bag man’s bag man. (No bag man not bagette or bagel. I’m talking about the green kind of bread not bread dough. Dough? It’s all very confusing. Let’s call the whole thing off. ) If the Bug Man gets squashed the same guys who are now pretending NOT to know Jack Abramoff will be pretending NOT to know Tom DeLay. That’s gonna be a tough sell even for Repub spin/smear masters Ken Mehlman and Turd Blossom Rove.