BRING BACK THE PONY EXPRESS/AN ENGLISHMAN IN BUNKIE

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 17:07:25

Item-1 Bring Back The Pony Express: Last night I watched Crazytown’s newest and perhaps craziest news show: 6 On Your Side Live featuring WDSU’s irascible anchor Norman Robinson. Norman is one of a flotilla of ex-WWL reporters anchoring at other stations here. It seems to be a requirement to anchor a news show in these parts. Norman is *seriously* cranky y’all. He always appears ready to bite someone’s head off; sort of like an elegant African-American pitbull. Arf arf chew chew bite bite. Pre-K while respecting his talent and intellect I found Norman’s style somewhat annoying. But the Post-K zeitgeist is a cranky one so Norman fits right in. Bite ‘em Norman.  Also Norman has a kind of clipped quasi-strident delivery which reminds me a bit of the late mega-cranky sportscaster Howard Cosell.

Anyway last night one of Norman’s guests/victims in the “Hot Seat” segment   was a hapless spokesman for the Postal Service. His name escapes me and I don’t feel like googling it either so I’ll just call him the Postal Guy. He insisted that they’re making progress in getting mail delivered in Debrisville. I’m not sure if the Postal Guy and I inhabit the same universe: we have mail service twice a week if we’re lucky. And we haven’t gotten a magazine since we’ve been back. Yo Postal Guy I’m getting seriously cranky without the civilizing effects of the New Yorker. I am a lost soul without a fix of my boy Calvin (Bud to his buds) Trillin. A lesser blogger might just go postal on your ass but not me. Just give me my New Yorker and I’ll go easy on you.

Since the mail service in Debrisville blows I have a suggestion for the USPS: bring back the Pony Express. It couldn’t be any slower than what we’ve got now and just imagine the PR value of galloping hoofbeats bringing magazines to the huddled masses of Crazytown. It’s a winner I tell ya…

Item-2 An Englishman In Bunkie: I was horrified to learn that Comus/Momus/Rex historian and TP columnist James Gill spent his exile in Bunkie Louisiana. The mere thought of it had me giggling like a schoolgirl. Mr. Gill is an elegant rather snooty English émigré and Bunkie is well a tiny burg in central Louisiana.

Bunkie is best known as the town that every LSU undergraduate professor uses as a rim shot laugh line. Even a dry wizened prof with no sense of humor can get a laugh just by saying Bunkie. I am glad that Mr. Gill survived his Bunkie experience with his mind intact. Life in Bunkie has been known to turn city folk into raving lunatics. And no gentle readers I have only driven through Bunkie. My lunacy comes from other things such as living next door to Mr. and Mrs. Moron…

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