BITE ME, BYRON

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 00:46:12

Here’s one  from the kicking us when we’re down department. Hornets Coach Byron Scott did his best Tom Benson impression last night and said that he wants the NBA team to stay in Oklahoma City because attendance is so good.

I’m disappointed in Byron. I was pleased when he was hired to coach the Hornets in 2004. Why? I was a big fan of the great 1980’s LA Lakers teams that featured Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, James Worthy, Michael Cooper, and Byron Scott as the Beaver. I made that last part up but the Beaver was a knucklehead and Byron is being one right now. And who the hell wants to be compared to the Beaver? Actually now that I think of it Pat Riley reminds me of Eddie Haskell…

Back to my slow waltz down memory lane. The Lakers championship run/rivalry with the Boston Celtics coincided with my early days in Louisiana as a student at LSU. I felt like the only white person in Baton Rouge who rooted for the Lakers against the Celtics whose star the great Larry Bird was a white hick from French Lick Indiana. I was also one of the few to have a Mondale-Ferraro bumper sticker on my car which got my tires slashed. Baton Rouge has always been a very red city and living there gave me the blues.

Anyhoo back to the Hornets. Yes their attendance is up in OK City BUT they were horrendous last year with an 18-64 record. This season they’ve already won 20 games and have the probable rookie of the year in Chris Paul. Last year’s team was not only awful but we had to put up with the incessant whining of Baron (Bombs Away) Davis; one of the worst outside and foul shooting guards I’ve ever seen. Baron wasn’t happy unless he brought the rest of the world down and only played when he felt like it.  I pity the long-suffering fans in the Bay Area: Baron is being semi-good right now but you know what they say about leopards and their spots. And Baron is a big whiny leopard *not* a Warrior.

So Byron listen to your owner. George Shinn knows what it’s like to be run out of town (Charlotte) on a rail. (He’s also got a son with a mohawk big ass tattoos and multiple piercings so he knows from pain.) If the Hornets leave New Orleans he’d rather it be *after* giving us another shot. Besides Byron the decision is NOT yours and if you shut up you might not get booed the next time you show your face  in Crazytown in March. It’s not that far away so why give the term March madness an entirely different meaning.

Oh and Byron one last thing: Bite me.

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