Daily Archives: January 28, 2006

POLITICAL POTPOURRI

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 17:18:47

Hmmm sounds like a Jeopardy category. Things never seem to let up here in Debrisville. I remember when it was  a sleepy town nicknamed the Big Easy. For some reason that changed in the summer of 2005…

Item-1 Baker: Bush Delivers Louisiana A  Death Blow: W’s Louisiana Repub allies continue to abandon him. Richard Baker and Bobby Jindal are starting to sound like Mary Landrieu in their critique of Beavis Recovery policies. Baker in fact voted with the administration 91% of the time in 2005. Too bad King George the W doesn’t give a damn about what his vassals think. He’s the King or at least he thinks he is and he only listens to other members of the Royal Family (Prince Jeb of Chadshire and the Dowager Empress Bar) and his courtiers: Lady Rice Earl Turd Blossom Lord Rummy and Prime Minister Duce.

Item-2: Mayoral Race Gossip: Today’s NO Politics column dishes some interesting dirt about two potentially powerful candidates: Singin’ Lt. Gov Mitchell and Audubon Nature Institute Potentate Ron Forman. This is clearly a sign that C Ray is in the political ICU: Forman’s wife Sally is C Ray’s chief flack. Forman would also have the support of mighty jungle beasts and sea creatures: from lions to orangutans  to sharks to electric eels. That sort of clout could give Forman an eely good chance. (Pun disclaimer: That’s a Basil Fawlty line so blame John Cleese not me.)

Item-3  Oliver Acts: Token City Council grownup Oliver (Not Twist) Thomas is also an actor. Well all pols are actors but most of them are bad at it: George HW Butt-Head’s King Lear was very unconvincing. On the other hand Tom DeLay makes an excellent Iago…

Anyway back to Council Prez Oliver Thomas. He’s playing the lead in his bud Anthony Bean’s production of August Wilson’s “Joe Turner’s Come and Gone.”  Oliver and the Beanmeister seem to specialize in putting on Wilson’s plays: this is number three and counting. They’re kinda like a Debrisville version of David Mamet and Joe Mantegna.  I don’t however know if Anthony Bean has a potty mouth…

Break a leg Oliver.

POLITICAL POTPOURRI

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 17:18:47

Hmmm sounds like a Jeopardy category. Things never seem to let up here in Debrisville. I remember when it was  a sleepy town nicknamed the Big Easy. For some reason that changed in the summer of 2005…

Item-1 Baker: Bush Delivers Louisiana A  Death Blow: W’s Louisiana Repub allies continue to abandon him. Richard Baker and Bobby Jindal are starting to sound like Mary Landrieu in their critique of Beavis Recovery policies. Baker in fact voted with the administration 91% of the time in 2005. Too bad King George the W doesn’t give a damn about what his vassals think. He’s the King or at least he thinks he is and he only listens to other members of the Royal Family (Prince Jeb of Chadshire and the Dowager Empress Bar) and his courtiers: Lady Rice Earl Turd Blossom Lord Rummy and Prime Minister Duce.

Item-2: Mayoral Race Gossip: Today’s NO Politics column dishes some interesting dirt about two potentially powerful candidates: Singin’ Lt. Gov Mitchell and Audubon Nature Institute Potentate Ron Forman. This is clearly a sign that C Ray is in the political ICU: Forman’s wife Sally is C Ray’s chief flack. Forman would also have the support of mighty jungle beasts and sea creatures: from lions to orangutans  to sharks to electric eels. That sort of clout could give Forman an eely good chance. (Pun disclaimer: That’s a Basil Fawlty line so blame John Cleese not me.)

Item-3  Oliver Acts: Token City Council grownup Oliver (Not Twist) Thomas is also an actor. Well all pols are actors but most of them are bad at it: George HW Butt-Head’s King Lear was very unconvincing. On the other hand Tom DeLay makes an excellent Iago…

Anyway back to Council Prez Oliver Thomas. He’s playing the lead in his bud Anthony Bean’s production of August Wilson’s “Joe Turner’s Come and Gone.”  Oliver and the Beanmeister seem to specialize in putting on Wilson’s plays: this is number three and counting. They’re kinda like a Debrisville version of David Mamet and Joe Mantegna.  I don’t however know if Anthony Bean has a potty mouth…

Break a leg Oliver.

DOES MICKEY SPILLANE KNOW ABOUT THIS?

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 04:59:59

New Orleans investment banker Mike Hammer announced the other day that he’s running for Mayor. My first reaction to this announcement was: who the hell is he? My second reaction: Woo-hoo another politically inexperienced businessman wants to be our Mayor. It worked out so well with C Ray…

But my inner satirist/blogger finally kicked in and realized that this is a bonanza for the likes of me. Imagine a Mayor like Mickey Spillane’s hard boiled detective Mike Hammer. That Mike Hammer wouldn’t take any shit from posers and pansies like President Beavis or Katrina Kaiser Donald Powell. He’d smack them upside the head with a gat pour whiskey down their throats and make them do his bidding. Mike Hammer was always a very direct guy. Problems with Governor Meemaw? Well Mike had a way with the skirts; he’d charm her and convince her to speak in complete sentences (that would be a first) and to be a stand-up broad. Trouble with the College Of Clowns? Mike Hammer would lock them up in the council chambers and make them an offer they couldn’t refuse. Yeah I know that was Vito Corleone’s line but Mario Puzo and Mickey Spillane went to the same college of hard knocks.

So my advice for Debrisville’s Mike Hammer: get a fedora drink some bourbon forget all that
goo-goo crapola and kick some ass.  Remember:

This entry was published in purple because Mickey Spillane wrote purple prose. Got it? Good.