Sun, 29 Jan 2006 06:06:08
It’s rainy here in Debrisville so I’m glad that the blue tarp on the roof is history which according to Neil Finn never repeats. Our friendly neighborhood contractors Marc and Jeff have re-roofed 3 houses on this block of Constance Street. They live a mere 5 blocks away so Harvard Boy Chicago Mike and I know where to find them if anything goes wrong. If that happens it could be called the Renunciation on Annunciation; sort of like the Thrilla In Manilla only without the pugilism. Like Michael Palin’s Inquisitor Cardinal Fang our main weapons will be surprise and sarcasm. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
After that marginally coherent introduction on with the show this is it:
Item-1 The New Moron Watch: Who could ever forget the 13 day flat tire watch? Well, my madcap trashy and idiotic neighbors are at it again. It’s now Day-5 of the unmoved Moronmobile Watch. Mrs. Moron no longer drives her car for whatever reason: me I think it’s because it’s a Ford and they suck. The Moronmobile was parked in front of their house for weeks without moving and parking is very tight here in Debrisville. Last Wednesday Mr. Moron backed up the crappy Ford and left it in front of my house. I decided to try diplomacy and politely asked him to please park in front of his house instead. He grunted and said: “I’ll move it later.” It’s still there. In Crazytown later *really* means later.
Perhaps this sounds (tom) petty to some of you but the Morons tree hit the back of our house during the storm. The easiest and best way to get the tree off our house was to put a ladder on their side of the common fence. Mrs. Moron was home but didn’t answer the doorbell when we rang. So much for people being ennobled by shared suffering. So I’m entitled to be small and (tom) petty where they’re concerned. Dr A is even more rabid about the Morons than I am and she’s usually the nice one. Besides what’s a little pettiness among friends? <cueing “don’t come around here no more”>
A final Mr. and Mrs. Moron story. I saw them speaking to my friend Harvard Boy yesterday afternoon. I suspect that they were discussing Judge Alito’s views on original intent or perhaps even parsing the meaning of Professor Yiannopoulous’ treatise on Civil Law Property. Dr. A believes that it was a literary discussion: that the Morons were trying to figure out what Ibsen was really driving at when he wrote “Ghosts.” Which was it Harvard Boy?
Item-2 Tax Cut Time: Well folks those zany Orleans Parish tax assessors are at it again. The assessors here are elected: I call them the 7 Dwarfs. Yup that’s right we have 7 tax assessors. It’s totally nuts. Even crazier is the fact that undamaged houses in unflooded sections of the city are being reassessed: down down down even though property values are up up up. Now since my property taxes are going down 15% I suppose I shouldn’t criticize the proverbial gift horse and smack it in the mouth. BUT this is insane the city is starved for money and they’re cutting taxes during a crisis. Who the hell else would do such a stupid thing? Oh that’s right the Federal government under President Beavis has cut taxes during wartime. And people think that we’re crazy…
Item-3: Post-Katrina Promises Unfulfilled: Saturday’s Washington Post (WaPo to news junkies) had an outstanding front page article by Spencer Hsu that played the old compare and contrast game. Mr. Hsu took a look at the promises made by a certain President in his Jackson Square speech on 9/15/05 and found that he’s kept almost none of them. In the immortal words of Gomer Pyle “Surprise surprise surprise.”