Joe Friday

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 18:28:19

For the second time this week, the title is only marginally connected to the entry. I thought that Mike Hammer needed another fictional tough guy to keep him company. Also good old calm Joe might just be able to soothe hot headed Mike with his monotone voice and deadpan delivery. The facts Mike just the facts.

Back to planet earth or at least the Debrisville version of it:

Item-1  Thursday’s Twisters: We survived yesterday’s 3 tornadoes without loss of life but Armstrong Airport sustained about $2.5 million worth of damage. Two of the tornadoes rated a F-1 on the Fujita Scale (73-113 mph) and the other was a F-2 (113-158 mph.) Me I wish the weather would F’ing stop kicking us in the gut. I’m not sure if I’ll ever play Twister again…

Item-2 Meemaw Gets Joe-mentum?  Along with Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour Governor Meemaw testified before the Senate Homeland Insecurity Committee yesterday. Senator Joe Lieberman focused on President Beavis’ attempt to pressure Meemaw into federalizing the Louisiana National Guard. Lieberman actually asked former RNC national chairman/K Street lobbyist Barbour if he was *ever* asked by the White House to cede control of the Mississippi National Guard. Barbour said he was not asked and he wouldn’t have complied if asked. Jeez I wonder why the disparity in treatment? Could it be that Barbour is a Repub/Bush crony and that Meemaw is a Democrat? Would President Beavis and White House Chief Of Staff Andrew (What A) Card act in a partisan manner at the height of a natural disaster? You bet your ass they would. People in Debrisville need to accept the fact that Bush is not the President of ALL the people just the President of the Repub base. Unless that is you live in South Louisiana; then you’re SOL even if you voted for the Beavis-Duce ticket.

Item-3 Kick The Kaiser: Simmering hostility between Louisiana pols and Katrina Kaiser Donald (Stuffed Shirt Texas Banker) Powell erupted yesterday. (I know that’s a mixed metaphor but I’ve always been a crazy mixed-up kid.) The gray and bland Kaiser “wrote” an op-ed piece for the WaPo that detailed his opposition to the Baker bailout bill. It boils down to this: it’s all our fault and the feds are being magnanimous to help us at all. I did not know that Herr Kaiser. I thought that it was the failure of the shitty levees that the Corps built that caused most of the damage…

I think it ‘s time to revive an idea from the Great War aka World War I. Back then the Red Cross threw “Kick The Kaiser” parties to raise money for its war related efforts. (Hey it beats eating liberty cabbage.) They of course didn’t kick the actual Kaiser Bill but made effigies stuck one of those kooky pointed Prussian helmets on its head and let the crowd put the boot in. Now I know that the Katrina Kaiser isn’t a charismatic incompetent like Wilhelm II but imagine the thrill of holding your very own Kick the Katrina Kaiser party. I’m sure I could line up Mike Hammer to deliver the first kick in the banker’s bollocks.  It’s a winner I tell ya…

Item-4  Are The Culture Vultures Circling?  My pal Laura the Librarian sent me a link to a front page story in the WaPo “A City Fears For Its Soul.” The reporter Manuel Roig-Franzia actually left the Quarter to check out other parts of town. It’s a frigging miracle.

While there is the obligatory quote from Wynton (The Man Who Says He Saved Jazz) Marsalis the story is about some of the weirdoes who make Crazytown so well crazy. Some of the oddballs are elsewhere and yes we do miss them. But the Lower Ninth Bywater and Treme were not the only places with characters: Uptown is chock-a-block with them. In fact the folks mentioned in this quote were Uptown characters:

“Gone too is Joseph Casamento who died while evacuating; he shucked oysters for half a century amid the floor-to-ceiling tile of his family’s eponymous restaurant across town on Magazine Street. And gone too is Mary Hansen the 95-year-old institution who before the storm served rich syrupy delights called nectar ices at her landmark stand Sno-Bliz.”

Actually Mr. Joe refused his family’s attempts to get him to evacuate and passed away in his flat above the restaurant. And Mary Hansen’s granddaughter plans to carry on the business. And y’all for me these two were *very* local characters: Casamento’s is 4 blocks away from Adrastos world headquarters and Hansen’s a mere 3 blocks Btw Hansen’s is across the street from my friend Maggie McKeown’s bookshop. End of W-like cronyistic (if that’s not a real word it should be) passage. Hey if they can practice crony-capitalism so can I.

Besides quoting Wynton the Savior the other obligatory feature of the article is its bow to the Mardi Gras Indians. I gotta admit that I’m not as big on the Indian thing as a lot of people: my friend Harvard Boy is a buff. The problem is that roughly 10-15% of them are gangbangers who sew beautifully. I’ll never forget one Mardi Gras morning when Dr A and I dropped in on our friend Miss Audria who is a former Queen of Zulu. I casually asked her if anyone in her family was in one of the Indian tribes. She said: “I wouldn’t hear of it. None of my boys are thugs.” The Zulu Queen was not one to rant so I knew that she meant it.

Rampant iconoclasm that’s what we serve up here at the Adrastos Virtual Diner. You know us Greeks eventually we gotta open a restaurant. I know you’d probably rather eat moussaka or pastichio than my words but what can I say? Mmm bechamel sauce…

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