Monthly Archives: March 2006

Confessions Of A Neighborhood Leader Part Two

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 18:42:42

In the springtime a young man’s fancy turns to…meetings? Nope. But if I wanted to I could attend one every night. Trust me I don’t want to: twice a week is the max for me. Last night’s meeting was however a biggie; it was a follow-up meeting about the ugly  condo project in my neighborhood that I posted about a few weeks back: Confessions Of A Neighborhood Leader and Who Says You Can’t Fight City Hall.

The developers have actually scaled back the project somewhat. They’ve abandoned (for now) their attempt to get a height variance: the limit for residences is 40 feet and they were originally asking  for 52 which is the height of the church. Churches are of course customarily taller than houses; just as basketball players are taller than jockeys…

The architect dialed his hostility back this time and looked and acted more like Wallace Shawn than Don Rickles. His face didn’t look like a clenched fist at least and he didn’t insult me this time either. The rough sketches he showed us were an improvement but still not worthy of supporting. I really didn’t expect them to make *any* concessions so I’m pleased BUT they still want to build 16 units which is way too many.  I told the developer that if he really wanted neighborhood support that he’d have to build as few units as possible while still making a profit.  He claimed to be receptive. We shall see…

There was a bit of shouting during the meeting by some of the older residents of the hood. I understand why: they’re worried about paying higher property taxes while living on a fixed income. Also one of them loves the sound of his own voice so he can be counted on to bloviate whenever and wherever possible. New Orleanians are a talkative lot and he’s chatty even for a local. There was an elderly black creole gent present who once told me about his solution to the drug dealers who used to pop up on our street corners like mushrooms: “Grab them all up put them on a tiny island and let them kill each other off.” An unsubtle solution but it has the virtue of being direct…

A fun moment for me at least was when the usually calm Dr. A rhetorically bipped the developer upside the head over one of his more dubious claims about his plans pre-K. He had a lot of support in the area for 4-6 condos in a renovated church and that’s what he told her he planned to do when they spoke. His reply: “Katrina changed everything.” Hmm does that sound familiar y’all?

After the meeting I decided to play good cop so I chatted up the developers and architects. I’m not sure how much farther they’ll move in our direction but I wanted them to know that I knew that they’d taken some baby steps towards us. Besides I have to play good cop because the President of the other neighborhood association is a specialist at playing bad cop; not a bad thing in this instance actually.  As usual I’m annoyed with him for NOT telling me that the meeting was open to the public: I was told it was just for the boards and directly impacted residents. That’s why I didn’t invite my posse. The great communicator he is not….Oh well you can’t pick your allies and we *do* agree on this one.

Finally my friend Harvard Boy who is the Veep of our neighborhood association came to the meeting. He’s a bit more optimistic about the developers willingness to compromise than I am which makes him the *really* good cop. He’s no fool though just someone who has wants to see something done with the decaying crumbling church before it collapses.

Harvard Boy informed me that his lovely clever and charming fiancee the Scad Grad has been giving him a hard time for reading my blog every day. I am mock devastated y’all. I saw her outside their house after the meeting and stuck the needle in. She said that she was a blogophobe. In short she’s telling me:  it’s not you it’s me. Hmm where have I heard that one before?

That’s okay R I guess I won’t give y’all a leather bound edition of the Best Of Adrastos as a wedding present then. Not that one exists mind you but the spirit of April Fool’s Day is in the air…

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Confessions Of A Neighborhood Leader Part Two

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 18:42:42

In the springtime a young man’s fancy turns to…meetings? Nope. But if I wanted to I could attend one every night. Trust me I don’t want to: twice a week is the max for me. Last night’s meeting was however a biggie; it was a follow-up meeting about the ugly  condo project in my neighborhood that I posted about a few weeks back: Confessions Of A Neighborhood Leader and Who Says You Can’t Fight City Hall.

The developers have actually scaled back the project somewhat. They’ve abandoned (for now) their attempt to get a height variance: the limit for residences is 40 feet and they were originally asking  for 52 which is the height of the church. Churches are of course customarily taller than houses; just as basketball players are taller than jockeys…

The architect dialed his hostility back this time and looked and acted more like Wallace Shawn than Don Rickles. His face didn’t look like a clenched fist at least and he didn’t insult me this time either. The rough sketches he showed us were an improvement but still not worthy of supporting. I really didn’t expect them to make *any* concessions so I’m pleased BUT they still want to build 16 units which is way too many.  I told the developer that if he really wanted neighborhood support that he’d have to build as few units as possible while still making a profit.  He claimed to be receptive. We shall see…

There was a bit of shouting during the meeting by some of the older residents of the hood. I understand why: they’re worried about paying higher property taxes while living on a fixed income. Also one of them loves the sound of his own voice so he can be counted on to bloviate whenever and wherever possible. New Orleanians are a talkative lot and he’s chatty even for a local. There was an elderly black creole gent present who once told me about his solution to the drug dealers who used to pop up on our street corners like mushrooms: “Grab them all up put them on a tiny island and let them kill each other off.” An unsubtle solution but it has the virtue of being direct…

A fun moment for me at least was when the usually calm Dr. A rhetorically bipped the developer upside the head over one of his more dubious claims about his plans pre-K. He had a lot of support in the area for 4-6 condos in a renovated church and that’s what he told her he planned to do when they spoke. His reply: “Katrina changed everything.” Hmm does that sound familiar y’all?

After the meeting I decided to play good cop so I chatted up the developers and architects. I’m not sure how much farther they’ll move in our direction but I wanted them to know that I knew that they’d taken some baby steps towards us. Besides I have to play good cop because the President of the other neighborhood association is a specialist at playing bad cop; not a bad thing in this instance actually.  As usual I’m annoyed with him for NOT telling me that the meeting was open to the public: I was told it was just for the boards and directly impacted residents. That’s why I didn’t invite my posse. The great communicator he is not….Oh well you can’t pick your allies and we *do* agree on this one.

Finally my friend Harvard Boy who is the Veep of our neighborhood association came to the meeting. He’s a bit more optimistic about the developers willingness to compromise than I am which makes him the *really* good cop. He’s no fool though just someone who has wants to see something done with the decaying crumbling church before it collapses.

Harvard Boy informed me that his lovely clever and charming fiancee the Scad Grad has been giving him a hard time for reading my blog every day. I am mock devastated y’all. I saw her outside their house after the meeting and stuck the needle in. She said that she was a blogophobe. In short she’s telling me:  it’s not you it’s me. Hmm where have I heard that one before?

That’s okay R I guess I won’t give y’all a leather bound edition of the Best Of Adrastos as a wedding present then. Not that one exists mind you but the spirit of April Fool’s Day is in the air…

 DOLLAR BILL SELLS OUT/KENNER’S UGLY ELECTION

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 18:51:20
Item-1 Dollar Bill Sells Out:
Of course he sold out years ago. In this case I’m referring to a story in the local rag this morning. Here’s a quote for the gullible:

“Jefferson’s spokeswoman said Wednesday that the sale has nothing to do with a federal criminal investigation swirling around [Congressman]  Jefferson. In January a former aide pleaded guilty in federal court saying Jefferson sought bribes to push through a telecommunications deal in Nigeria. Jefferson has denied any wrongdoing and has not been charged with a crime.

“He is buying another house in the area ” spokeswoman Melanie Roussell said. “He is running for re-election. He is not going anywhere.”

Yeah right. And I’m a Republican oil man from Texas.

It’s nice to know that Debrisville isn’t the only place where powerful people’s property is under assessed. Check this out: “If Jefferson gets what he is asking it will serve notice that Capitol Hill property assessments are way out of line. The District of Columbia where assessors are not elected as they are in New Orleans assessed the property last year at $359 090.”

Dollar Bill is asking $799K for his 2700 square foot DC house. He stands to make a cool profit of $650K if he gets his asking price. Good to know that Dollar Bill will have plenty of dosh to put in his freezer.

The clock is ticking. The Dollar Bill era is coming to a close. Here’s hoping that his weakness will help take out his lackey Council Clown Gill-Pratfall. Viva la revolucion.

Item-2  Kenner’s Ugly Election: Mayoral candidates incumbent Phil Capitano and Police Chief Nick Congemi are involved in a grudge rematch. Congemi stayed on as Chief of Police after his narrow defeat and has lifted his leg on Capitano at every opportunity. Capitano who was elected as a reformer has been under investigation by the Feds for the way Kenner handled FEMA money post-K. Capitano claims to have been vindicated but that’s a self-serving interpretation of a murky situation.

There’s a third candidate former Jefferson Parish Councilman Ed Muniz. He’s running an excellent campaign ad wherein he says that the other factions are irreconcilable  and that he’d stop the endless pissing match if elected. Muniz is best known locally as the Captain and founder of my least favorite Carnival parade Endymion. Yo Captain Ed if elected why doncha move your glitzy vacuous parade to the burbs where it belongs. I can’t offer to vote for you since I hate suburban tract housing and live Uptown but I’d consider an endorsement if you’ll take Endymion out to deep shit suburbia.

Finally the item title isn’t just about the TONE of the candidates it’s about the candidates themselves. Phil Capitano is one of the ugliest dudes anywhere. He’s got beady little rat eyes bat ears una boca grande and large scary Nutria-like teeth. He should be defeated just so we don’t have to see him on the 6 0’Clock news any more. Nick Congemi isn’t ugly but he’s no looker either. Muniz is sort of an ordinary fiftysomething Repub businessman type but compared to Capitano he’s Cary Grant. 

Orleans Parish Political Potpourri & A Bit Of Popery

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 18:27:18
Item-1  Justin Zitler For Civil Sheriff:
Yes it’s time for another shameless plug for my friend Justin’s campaign as well as a link to a story in the Metro section of the local rag. The Z-Man told me that the Picayune’s Michael Perlstein had asked excellent and thought provoking questions and it showed in the article. For more info about Justin’s reform plans follow this link to the League Of Women Voters excellent online election guide.

Item-2  Low IQ? Local blogger and bi-valve intellectual Oyster asks whether or not the IQ (I Quit) ticket to replace the 7 Dwarfs (tax assessors) has a strategy other than litigation. It’s a pearl of a piece…

Item-3 A Moderate Voice On The St. Augustine Closure Mess: For the uninitiated there is a huge dispute over the Catholic Church’s plan to phase out the historic St. Augustine Church in Treme. The church was founded by les gens de couleur libres (free people of color) some 150 years ago. There have been protests and sit-ins on one side and a typically authoritarian response by the archdiocese. There was bad behavior on both sides last Sunday: protesters interrupted mass and Father Michael Jacques was accompanied to mass by some armed off-duty police officers.  The protest backfired: the archdiocese seized on it to close  the church completely.

Anyway there’s an excellent op-ed piece in today’s Picayune by St. Augustine board member Michael Valentino that urges both sides to take a chill pill act like adults and try to compromise: “The archdiocese and the congregation are entrenched in their positions. It’s time for both parties to step back and consider the larger picture. We are nearly out of time for a reasonable resolution. Left untended this conflict will be a flashpoint for dire controversy and international notoriety by this weekend.

I hope the archdiocese will offer an immediate six-month reprieve with any Divine Word priest giving time for a mediator to calm and direct the dialogue. I hope St. Augustine parishioners will offer an apology to the archdiocese for Sunday’s disrupted service. They can also help restore good faith by helping negotiate an end to the sit-in in the rectory and entering into mediation.

Our community and our ancestors deserve no less. ”

Y’all please listen to Mr. Valentino. He seems to have everyone’s best interests at heart. We’re all rubbed raw chafed and stressed by the storm so I understand the emotional reaction but all concerned need to take a deep breath and let their brains take over. Compromise is the only way to save the church.

Item-4  District B Council Candidates Forum April 5th:
Here’s a bit of shameless semi-self promotion. My neighborhood association along with 12 others is sponsoring a candidates forum next Wednesday. It will run from 7-8:30 PM and will be held at Touro Synagogue 4238 St. Charles Avenue. Here’s a link to the forum press release.

At The (Online) Movies: After The Levees Failed

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 20:29:30


Last week I was casually browsing another Debrisville blogger’s links and came across Editor B’s web blog. It was pretty darn zany so I cruised about the site and found the link to ROX which is the internet home of Editor B Rox’s long running public access TV show. He’s been doing the show with his bartender friend J Rox for years. I like the same last name schtick they’re like the Ramones that way. I haven’t watched *that* many episodes but they seem to be more cerebral than Wayne and Garth of Wayne’s World fame but given the amount of alcohol they consume…

One title in particular caught my eye ROX #93 After The Levees Failed. It’s Editor B’s account of his pre-K and post-K experiences with his hilarious wife XY and their merry krewe of pranksters. Their evacuation was very familiar to me as it involved a great deal of cat wrangling. During our own evacuation I learned to my chagrin that neutered male cats can still spray: Oscar got me big time and he’s a huge cat with a large capacity. Ick yuck eww…

Another favorite scene of mine involved Editor B and XY cashing their FEMA check and heading off to a liquor store somewhere in Hoosierland. They may be NOLA transplants but they’ve got the local feeling down pat whoever the hell Pat is: O’Brien most likely. It was disconcerting however to see them bypass buying a bottle of Wild Turkey in favor of a lesser brand. Hey y’all spend your govmint money wisely or give it to those of us who’ll buy Wild Turkey Jack Daniels or Maker’s Mark…

While Editor B copes with exile in what weather people insist on calling the nation’s mid-section J Rox mixes drinks cuts up and does a remote interview with Editor B who appears to be in a black hole of sorts. J Rox has a gift for physical comedy: his headset phone is broken so he duct tapes it to his head. Ouch. His wife Day adds to the hilarity by putting a tin foil antennae on his head. Ya gotta respect someone who’ll look like an idiot to get a laugh…

The episode takes a somber turn when Editor B and a friend break C Ray’s moronic quarantine of Debrisville right before Hurricane Rita. It was the same day that Dr. A and I lied our way past the National Guard. Editor B’s house however is in Mid-City so it flooded. This is one of the areas that WOULD NOT HAVE FLOODED with proper levees.

Despite being a lucky SOB I still had some flashbacks (wow man) watching Editor B open his fridge and seeing the maggots come spewing out. Ah maggot nostalgia only in Debrisville…

GEEK INFO: To see Rox #93 you need the latest version of Quick Time. There’s a link to download it provided at Rox.com. I’m glad to report that Editor B is a Mac person too.

There’s a post-script to After The Levees Failed: Editor B and XY are back in their house and renovating away. A tip of the hat to them and. more appropriately a toast: good luck y’all.

Here’s the after picture of
XY with the fabulous mantle after scrubbing it within an inch of its life:

HOLY DOUBLE CROSSED

HOLY DOUBLE CROSSED Mon, 27 Mar 2006 21:32:27
ABOVE: 406 Tricou Street in Holy Cross before being renovated by the PRC.

ABOVE: 406 Tricou Street in Holy Cross on the day it was sold to Katie and Jason slightly pre-K.

ABOVE: 406 Tricou Street in Holy Cross post-Katrina. Katie and Jason have made progress since this picture was taken.

On Saturday Dr. A and I ventured to the Lower Ninth Ward for the PRC’s Look & Believe Tour of Holy Cross. I hadn’t crossed the industrial canal post-K because I didn’t want to do so for purely voyeuristic reasons. I figured that I’d leave that to the TV people and other vultures. The biggest myth about the Ninth Ward is that all of it was devastated by the bad house guest who came here in August 2005. Holy Cross which is above St. Claude Avenue was only flooded for 2 days before the water receded. In short people should have been officially let back in long before they were. C Ray made them wait until January of course many folks were in and out before then but that policy was just plain idiotic. Idiotic public policy in Debrisville? Imagine that; actually it’s harder to imagine sensible intelligent policies here. It’s my new dream for Debrisville: NO MORE IDIOCY.

Our first stop was 406 Tricou Street to see Katie and Jason’s house which is featured in the before and after and post-K pictures at the top of the post. I’ve been following their rebuilding through my friend and Operation Comeback honcho Stephanie Bruno’s articles in the Saturday Picayune. In this week’s article I noticed that our roofers/neighbors/new friends Marc and Jeff (aka BCC) had done some work for them. When I met Katie I commented about that and she said: “Oh Jeff’s my brother-in-law he’s around somewhere.” I spent the next hour drinking beer and talking to Jason and Jeff. I asked Jeff where my kickbacks from referring business to him were. I’m old school and like my graft. Jeff seems to be a reformer…

The Tricou Street house was one that the PRC’s Operation Comeback rescued and renovated from disuse and disrepair. It was a beautiful renovation too and Katie and Jason moved in about 4-6 weeks before the storm hit. They’re determined to rebuild and more power to them. Their brother-in-law Jeff said to me: “Damn they’re brave. I’m not sure that I’d be that brave.” Me neither Jeff.  Btw I like to tease Jeff but he’s a helluva good guy: Katie and Jason are living in one of his rental properties in Algiers while working on their house.

There was a large cluster of houses on view at Dauphine Street. One was very much under renovation proudly supervised by the homeowner. The others will get some TLC from the PRC and the National Trust For Historic Preservation. Thanks y’all keep up the good work.

Y’all the houses in Holy Cross on the tour were classic sidehall or side gallery Victorian era shotguns with 14 foot ceilings as well as some amazing architectural details. Wonderful houses. Also Holy Cross is a part of NOLA with *huge* lots. Dr. A had garden and off-street parking envy whenever we went to Holy Cross pre-K. Given the destruction we’re less envious BUT I think this neighborhood will rise again if only the Corps and the pols do their jobs. A scary proposition I know but business as usual seems to be winding down post-K. I hope that the sign of the Holy Double Cross will be removed from this Ninth Ward neighborhood ASAP.

Dr. A and I had some interesting conversations along the way. On Dauphine Street Patty Gay who is the PRC’s big cheese came up to us looking visibly upset. We’re just acquaintances but she knows that we’re neighborhood leaders as well as ardent preservationists.  In short we’re part of her posse. Patty needed to vent about the whole Holy Double Cross and what a waste it all was. She is usually a very self possessed woman but she needed to let off some steam in her impeccably polite and gracious way. She even apologized for venting. It’s okay Patty we all have moments like that in post-K Debrisville. I’m glad that we were there to listen. End of unusual for me heartwarming interlude. Dr. A usually handles the heartwarming stuff for both of us…

Along the way we also saw our buddy Herb the Tomb Builder’s son. One of the largest and most elaborate houses on the tour once belonged to his family. It is appropriately enough on Flood Street and has a wraparound front porch that I would die for. Well maybe I’d just give up of one my nine lives as a catty person I mean cat person. According to Herb 3 families once lived in the Flood Street house. If they’re as talkative as he is there weren’t many awkward silences in that house.

Down the block we met John Washington who is a warm lovable and friendly man. The Washington’s house is RAISED y’all. When they restored the house they left the ground level open and unfinished which is probably what the original builders intended. The Washington’s house NEVER FLOODED inside but John is still struggling to live in his lovely side gallery shotgun. He’s only had power for a few weeks and still doesn’t have gas or potable water. The government has been farting around instead of helping people like John and his wife Angela live in their well-tended much loved house.

John calls himself the poster boy for the Holy Double Cross. (The last bit is my addition but he *is* the poster boy for the screwing his charming neighborhood has gotten.) John left his house boarded up but the powers that be kicked in his front door and also shot the dog he reluctantly had to leave behind. Katie and Jason’s front door was also kicked in and destroyed by the fools who ran wild in our city when we were barred from re-entering by C Ray and Admiral Walrus. Goo-goo-ga-joob.

I seem to be channeling fellow Debrisville blogger Angry Ashley Morris today. We’ve ALL been double crossed which makes it imperative that we channel that rage into doing whatever we can to stop the double crossers next time. To paraphrase Pete Townshend “We won’t get hosed again.”

Popular culture reference time: All this talk of the double cross reminds me of Charlie Chaplin’s only great talking picture “The Great Dictator.” Charlie plays dual parts: a sweet natured Jewish barber who was the little tramp tidied up a bit.; Charlie also plays the title character Adenoid Hynkel who was based on you know. Anyway in lieu of the swastika Hynkel’s emblem was the sign of the double cross.

ABOVE LEFT: Hynkel heils in front of the sign of the double cross. ABOVE RIGHT: VP Duce and President Beavis. I mean Jack Oakie as the fatuous as well as fat fascist Napaloni and Chaplin as a blasé Hynkel.

I think the emblem symbol or whatever of the Beavis-Duce administration should be the double cross. They’ve double crossed and slimed everyone and everything they’ve come into contact with. Ask Tony Blair he’ll lie about it but they destroyed his reputation. They’ve certainly slimed New Orleans and the sliming continues…

Judge Elloie Exposé

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 06:16:08

Rambling Preamble: I used to be a small squeaky cog in the criminal justice system and I still keep up with what’s going on. I don’t like the system (who the hell does?) but I understand it and perhaps I can help make sense of it to outsiders; not that it’s remotely logical. If I seem to be extra hard on defendants it’s because I used to defend the little dears and know what they’re really like. On to today’s little exposé of Judicial tomfoolery:

Orleans Parish Criminal Court Judge Charles Elloie is up to his old tricks. He let convicted felon and notorious crack dealer Brian Expose waltz out of the slammer ROR (released on his own recognizance without any bond or bail) after speaking to Expose’s lawyer on the phone. When Expose was arrested he was holding six ounces of crack $190K and two AK-47s. Judge Elloie is essentially too lazy to read police reports or hold contradictory hearings instead of kicking creeps like Expose free after a chat with their mouthpiece. Make that alleged creep…

A 2005 study conducted by the Metropolitan Crime Commission showed that Judge Elloie is: “…responsible for 83 percent of the cases in which a suspect was released after a bail reduction leaving the remaining 17 percent scattered among Elloie’s 11 fellow judges. The study showed that Elloie granted 48 percent of the total ROR bonds.”

Now I’m not a big fan of MCC honcho Rafael Goyeneche who annoys the hell out of me but this is a solid study. And Judge Elloie is seriously out of step with even the more liberal judges at Tulane and Broad. Yo Judge Elloie liberal does not mean “let ’em loose for no fricking reason.”

The Debrisville criminal justice system is in bad enough shape post-K without Judge Elloie’s antics: no money defendants rotting in jail without counsel the indigent defender’s system on hold and on and on and on. Many people think that Elloie is venal or stupid; I think that he’s lazy unfocused and reflexively hostile to the police and DA’s office. I don’t think Judges are supposed to roll over for the cops on every case but this is ridiculous.

Finally I’m glad to report that there’s no truth to the rumor that Judge Elloie and Crazy Kim are dating. Actually there’s no such rumor but the mere thought of starting such a rumor sent a shiver up and down my spine…

End of the Elloie Exposé.”

C Ray’s Car Contract Crashes/Dollar Bill Bribery Probe Update

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 06:00:00

Item-1 C Ray’s Car Contract Crashes: CH2M Hill the company that the Nagin administration planned to pay $23 million to remove dead cars from Debrisville has withdrawn its bid. The company which was not even close to being the lowest bidder   claimed that it was withdrawing because it wanted to serve the best interests of the city. Yeah right. It has nothing to do with the whole thing failing the smell test…

C Ray of course will continue to claim to be a reformer out to protect the city from the machinations of the Landrieus and other evil politicians. As local blogger Schroeder said last night on another subject in his blog People Get Ready: “Ray Ray’s hittin’ the crack pipe again.”

Item-2 Dollar Bill Bribery Probe Update: At the risk of sounding like a broken record 35 days after the WaPo’s front page Dollar Bill Jefferson story the local rag has finally noticed that our Congressman is in big trouble. Prosecutors have issued subpeonas to white shoe NOLA law firm Jones Walker requiring them to produce documents that probably have something to do with Jamila Jefferson who worked for the firm in 2004. That’s a key year in the Dollar Bill bribery inquiry. 2004 is when ex-Jefferson aide Brett Pfeffer has alleged that a thus far nameless Congressman asked him to solicit a bribe from a  telecommunications firm hoping to land a contract in Nigeria. Pfeffer who is Dollar Bill’s worst nightmare also told the feds: “…that the congressman wanted legal work for the African deal to be given to a family member and other work associated with the telecommunications deal be given to another family member for a monthly retainer of between $2 500 and $5 000.”

Jeez who could that be? Jamila Jefferson? Or maybe it’s SATAN he said in his best Church Lady impression. Btw Jamila Jefferson recently withdrew from the race to take Crazy Kim’s place as Clerk Of Criminal Court. The Jefferson machine seems to be on the run at long last…

Disclaimer: It is unclear as of this writing whether or not Jamila Jefferson is suspected of wrong-doing by the Feds.

The next shoe in the Dollar Bill bribery probe may well drop on May 26th which is the date of Brett Pfeffer’s sentencing. Pfeffer copped a plea in exchange for co-operating with the Feds. The Gumbo is getting thicker and thicker and I love to stir the pot…

Delusional In DC & Debrisville

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 06:00:00

Item-1 Delusional In DC: On the Third Anniversary of his idiotic imperial war in Iraq President Beavis told yet another whopper. Here’s part of his press conference exchange with Helen Thomas:

MS. THOMAS: I’d like to ask you Mr. President your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given publicly at least has turned out not to be true. My question is why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House from your Cabinet — your Cabinet officers intelligence people and so forth — what was your real reason? You have said it wasn’t oil — quest for oil it hasn’t been Israel or anything else. What was it?

THE PRESIDENT: I think your premise — in all due respect to your question and to you as a lifelong journalist — is that — I didn’t want war. To assume I wanted war is just flat wrong Helen in all due respect…

President Mars didn’t want war? I did not know that. The rest of his colloquy with Ms. Thomas was standard boilerplate Beavis: 9/11 bad; Saddam bad; Taliban bad; 9/11 bad; Saddam bad; Taliban bad…

What really scares me about President Beavis is that he believes this nonsense. I’ll take a cynic who lies and enjoys doing it like Tricky Dick any day over this delusional bible thumping chickenhawk. The good news is that people finally seem to be tuning him out. That’s what happens when you keep chanting simplistic slogans like my personal favorite: “Freedom is on the march.” Whoever wrote that line is smoking crack which rhymes with Iraq…

Prediction: The Homeland Insecurity Department will issue an increased terrorism alert some time soon. It happens every time Beavis gets in trouble and this time he’s neck deep in shit and sinking fast…

Item-2 Delusional In Debrisville: President Beavis isn’t the only one who acts like he’s smoking wacky tobacky C Ray made some amazing assertions to the AP:

“We should be able to sustain another Katrina ” the mayor said. “If a Category 5 hits us probably the city will be gone and the levees will still be standing. The work they’re doing is just incredible ” Nagin said of ongoing work by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.”

Let’s see we’re supposed to trust both C Ray *and* the Corps. If you believe them I have a bridge I’d like to sell you in Brooklyn…

Here’s another gem from Hizzonner: “People are pretty attuned to leaving if I say you have to leave so I don’t see that as being as much of a challenge ” he said.”

Jahwohl Herr Burgomeister. We are attuned to the voices in your head…Oops I said that I’d give up crazy jokes. You didn’t really believe me did you? Good. I write *about* delusional people not *for* them.

Here’s a potential campaign slogan for C Ray: Trust Nagin-Steady reliable and consistent in a crisis except when he changes his mind every 27 minutes. I guess that’s too long to be a good slogan. Oh well. Btw twenty years ago I would have asked C Ray what he was smoking and where I could score some…

STUPIDITY IS IN THE AIR

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 16:31:59

Item-1  Why Get Paid For Abandoned Cars When You Can Pay $23 Million To Have Them Towed? That may set a record for longest item heading in the lifetime of this blog. It’s sort of my answer to Nick Lowe’s (What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace Love and Understanding. Anyway a truly bizarre example of NOLA City Hallthink popped up in yesterday’s Picayune. It seems that a car crushing company is willing to pay Debrisville $100 per car to remove some 50 000 junked flooded and otherwise abandoned vehicles littering our streets. That would add up to $5 million for the nearly empty city coffers. Instead C Ray and his krewe of clones plan to pay $23 million to have someone tow the cars away. While there are some legal issues to be dealt with it’s nearly 7 months post-K and if folks haven’t taken care of their dead cars by now they never will. Besides according to Tulane Law Professor 2002 Mayoral Candidate and all-around good guy Vernon Palmer: “…the law is on the city’s side…Palmer cites city ordinance 66-101 a measure enacted during the Moon Landrieu administration to cope with a glut of abandoned cars that had accumulated over several years.

“They were talking about 2 000 or 3 000 cars and that was considered a crisis ” he noted dryly.

The ordinance is still on the books and it states that “junked abandoned and wrecked vehicles ” can be crushed and dismantled and sold for scrap 15 days after a certified letter is sent to its last known owner Palmer said. History shows the law which essentially turns the junkers into potential cash and leaves the solution to market forces worked.

“It’s not a very complicated way to deal with this ” Palmer said. “Once operators knew they could get the scrap value of the cars that quickly got the job done and they disappeared pretty fast. It seems to me that if you had a contractor operating within the guidelines of the ordinance it could be done.”

So let’s see we either pay out $23 million or someone pays us to remove the dead cars? Seems like a no brainer to everyone but the Nagin administration which specializes in making things worse. It’s also just plain STUPID.

Item-2  Second-Line Shooting In Central City: For the second time post-K some vicious cretin took advantage of a public gathering to shoot and kill someone he had a grudge against. An innocent bystander was also shot and the cops shot the perp in the thigh. Too bad they didn’t aim a bit to the left and give this vicious moron a pain in the johnson…

Item-3  B-Stupid Be Busted:  Sociopathic blood-thirsty idiot Ivory (B-Stupid) Harris was arrested yesterday for killing someone 7 blocks from Adrastos World HQ. He joins his accomplice and fellow gangbanger Jerome (Man Man) Hampton in the slammer.  B-Stupid is also the suspect in a string of evacuee murders in Houston. May he rot in Angola for a very long time…