Monthly Archives: March 2006

Confessions Of A Neighborhood Leader Part Two

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 18:42:42

In the springtime a young man’s fancy turns to…meetings? Nope. But if I wanted to I could attend one every night. Trust me I don’t want to: twice a week is the max for me. Last night’s meeting was however a biggie; it was a follow-up meeting about the ugly  condo project in my neighborhood that I posted about a few weeks back: Confessions Of A Neighborhood Leader and Who Says You Can’t Fight City Hall.

The developers have actually scaled back the project somewhat. They’ve abandoned (for now) their attempt to get a height variance: the limit for residences is 40 feet and they were originally asking  for 52 which is the height of the church. Churches are of course customarily taller than houses; just as basketball players are taller than jockeys…

The architect dialed his hostility back this time and looked and acted more like Wallace Shawn than Don Rickles. His face didn’t look like a clenched fist at least and he didn’t insult me this time either. The rough sketches he showed us were an improvement but still not worthy of supporting. I really didn’t expect them to make *any* concessions so I’m pleased BUT they still want to build 16 units which is way too many.  I told the developer that if he really wanted neighborhood support that he’d have to build as few units as possible while still making a profit.  He claimed to be receptive. We shall see…

There was a bit of shouting during the meeting by some of the older residents of the hood. I understand why: they’re worried about paying higher property taxes while living on a fixed income. Also one of them loves the sound of his own voice so he can be counted on to bloviate whenever and wherever possible. New Orleanians are a talkative lot and he’s chatty even for a local. There was an elderly black creole gent present who once told me about his solution to the drug dealers who used to pop up on our street corners like mushrooms: “Grab them all up put them on a tiny island and let them kill each other off.” An unsubtle solution but it has the virtue of being direct…

A fun moment for me at least was when the usually calm Dr. A rhetorically bipped the developer upside the head over one of his more dubious claims about his plans pre-K. He had a lot of support in the area for 4-6 condos in a renovated church and that’s what he told her he planned to do when they spoke. His reply: “Katrina changed everything.” Hmm does that sound familiar y’all?

After the meeting I decided to play good cop so I chatted up the developers and architects. I’m not sure how much farther they’ll move in our direction but I wanted them to know that I knew that they’d taken some baby steps towards us. Besides I have to play good cop because the President of the other neighborhood association is a specialist at playing bad cop; not a bad thing in this instance actually.  As usual I’m annoyed with him for NOT telling me that the meeting was open to the public: I was told it was just for the boards and directly impacted residents. That’s why I didn’t invite my posse. The great communicator he is not….Oh well you can’t pick your allies and we *do* agree on this one.

Finally my friend Harvard Boy who is the Veep of our neighborhood association came to the meeting. He’s a bit more optimistic about the developers willingness to compromise than I am which makes him the *really* good cop. He’s no fool though just someone who has wants to see something done with the decaying crumbling church before it collapses.

Harvard Boy informed me that his lovely clever and charming fiancee the Scad Grad has been giving him a hard time for reading my blog every day. I am mock devastated y’all. I saw her outside their house after the meeting and stuck the needle in. She said that she was a blogophobe. In short she’s telling me:  it’s not you it’s me. Hmm where have I heard that one before?

That’s okay R I guess I won’t give y’all a leather bound edition of the Best Of Adrastos as a wedding present then. Not that one exists mind you but the spirit of April Fool’s Day is in the air…

Advertisements

Confessions Of A Neighborhood Leader Part Two

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 18:42:42

In the springtime a young man’s fancy turns to…meetings? Nope. But if I wanted to I could attend one every night. Trust me I don’t want to: twice a week is the max for me. Last night’s meeting was however a biggie; it was a follow-up meeting about the ugly  condo project in my neighborhood that I posted about a few weeks back: Confessions Of A Neighborhood Leader and Who Says You Can’t Fight City Hall.

The developers have actually scaled back the project somewhat. They’ve abandoned (for now) their attempt to get a height variance: the limit for residences is 40 feet and they were originally asking  for 52 which is the height of the church. Churches are of course customarily taller than houses; just as basketball players are taller than jockeys…

The architect dialed his hostility back this time and looked and acted more like Wallace Shawn than Don Rickles. His face didn’t look like a clenched fist at least and he didn’t insult me this time either. The rough sketches he showed us were an improvement but still not worthy of supporting. I really didn’t expect them to make *any* concessions so I’m pleased BUT they still want to build 16 units which is way too many.  I told the developer that if he really wanted neighborhood support that he’d have to build as few units as possible while still making a profit.  He claimed to be receptive. We shall see…

There was a bit of shouting during the meeting by some of the older residents of the hood. I understand why: they’re worried about paying higher property taxes while living on a fixed income. Also one of them loves the sound of his own voice so he can be counted on to bloviate whenever and wherever possible. New Orleanians are a talkative lot and he’s chatty even for a local. There was an elderly black creole gent present who once told me about his solution to the drug dealers who used to pop up on our street corners like mushrooms: “Grab them all up put them on a tiny island and let them kill each other off.” An unsubtle solution but it has the virtue of being direct…

A fun moment for me at least was when the usually calm Dr. A rhetorically bipped the developer upside the head over one of his more dubious claims about his plans pre-K. He had a lot of support in the area for 4-6 condos in a renovated church and that’s what he told her he planned to do when they spoke. His reply: “Katrina changed everything.” Hmm does that sound familiar y’all?

After the meeting I decided to play good cop so I chatted up the developers and architects. I’m not sure how much farther they’ll move in our direction but I wanted them to know that I knew that they’d taken some baby steps towards us. Besides I have to play good cop because the President of the other neighborhood association is a specialist at playing bad cop; not a bad thing in this instance actually.  As usual I’m annoyed with him for NOT telling me that the meeting was open to the public: I was told it was just for the boards and directly impacted residents. That’s why I didn’t invite my posse. The great communicator he is not….Oh well you can’t pick your allies and we *do* agree on this one.

Finally my friend Harvard Boy who is the Veep of our neighborhood association came to the meeting. He’s a bit more optimistic about the developers willingness to compromise than I am which makes him the *really* good cop. He’s no fool though just someone who has wants to see something done with the decaying crumbling church before it collapses.

Harvard Boy informed me that his lovely clever and charming fiancee the Scad Grad has been giving him a hard time for reading my blog every day. I am mock devastated y’all. I saw her outside their house after the meeting and stuck the needle in. She said that she was a blogophobe. In short she’s telling me:  it’s not you it’s me. Hmm where have I heard that one before?

That’s okay R I guess I won’t give y’all a leather bound edition of the Best Of Adrastos as a wedding present then. Not that one exists mind you but the spirit of April Fool’s Day is in the air…

Judge Elloie Exposé

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 06:16:08

Rambling Preamble: I used to be a small squeaky cog in the criminal justice system and I still keep up with what’s going on. I don’t like the system (who the hell does?) but I understand it and perhaps I can help make sense of it to outsiders; not that it’s remotely logical. If I seem to be extra hard on defendants it’s because I used to defend the little dears and know what they’re really like. On to today’s little exposé of Judicial tomfoolery:

Orleans Parish Criminal Court Judge Charles Elloie is up to his old tricks. He let convicted felon and notorious crack dealer Brian Expose waltz out of the slammer ROR (released on his own recognizance without any bond or bail) after speaking to Expose’s lawyer on the phone. When Expose was arrested he was holding six ounces of crack $190K and two AK-47s. Judge Elloie is essentially too lazy to read police reports or hold contradictory hearings instead of kicking creeps like Expose free after a chat with their mouthpiece. Make that alleged creep…

A 2005 study conducted by the Metropolitan Crime Commission showed that Judge Elloie is: “…responsible for 83 percent of the cases in which a suspect was released after a bail reduction leaving the remaining 17 percent scattered among Elloie’s 11 fellow judges. The study showed that Elloie granted 48 percent of the total ROR bonds.”

Now I’m not a big fan of MCC honcho Rafael Goyeneche who annoys the hell out of me but this is a solid study. And Judge Elloie is seriously out of step with even the more liberal judges at Tulane and Broad. Yo Judge Elloie liberal does not mean “let ’em loose for no fricking reason.”

The Debrisville criminal justice system is in bad enough shape post-K without Judge Elloie’s antics: no money defendants rotting in jail without counsel the indigent defender’s system on hold and on and on and on. Many people think that Elloie is venal or stupid; I think that he’s lazy unfocused and reflexively hostile to the police and DA’s office. I don’t think Judges are supposed to roll over for the cops on every case but this is ridiculous.

Finally I’m glad to report that there’s no truth to the rumor that Judge Elloie and Crazy Kim are dating. Actually there’s no such rumor but the mere thought of starting such a rumor sent a shiver up and down my spine…

End of the Elloie Exposé.”

C Ray’s Car Contract Crashes/Dollar Bill Bribery Probe Update

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 06:00:00

Item-1 C Ray’s Car Contract Crashes: CH2M Hill the company that the Nagin administration planned to pay $23 million to remove dead cars from Debrisville has withdrawn its bid. The company which was not even close to being the lowest bidder   claimed that it was withdrawing because it wanted to serve the best interests of the city. Yeah right. It has nothing to do with the whole thing failing the smell test…

C Ray of course will continue to claim to be a reformer out to protect the city from the machinations of the Landrieus and other evil politicians. As local blogger Schroeder said last night on another subject in his blog People Get Ready: “Ray Ray’s hittin’ the crack pipe again.”

Item-2 Dollar Bill Bribery Probe Update: At the risk of sounding like a broken record 35 days after the WaPo’s front page Dollar Bill Jefferson story the local rag has finally noticed that our Congressman is in big trouble. Prosecutors have issued subpeonas to white shoe NOLA law firm Jones Walker requiring them to produce documents that probably have something to do with Jamila Jefferson who worked for the firm in 2004. That’s a key year in the Dollar Bill bribery inquiry. 2004 is when ex-Jefferson aide Brett Pfeffer has alleged that a thus far nameless Congressman asked him to solicit a bribe from a  telecommunications firm hoping to land a contract in Nigeria. Pfeffer who is Dollar Bill’s worst nightmare also told the feds: “…that the congressman wanted legal work for the African deal to be given to a family member and other work associated with the telecommunications deal be given to another family member for a monthly retainer of between $2 500 and $5 000.”

Jeez who could that be? Jamila Jefferson? Or maybe it’s SATAN he said in his best Church Lady impression. Btw Jamila Jefferson recently withdrew from the race to take Crazy Kim’s place as Clerk Of Criminal Court. The Jefferson machine seems to be on the run at long last…

Disclaimer: It is unclear as of this writing whether or not Jamila Jefferson is suspected of wrong-doing by the Feds.

The next shoe in the Dollar Bill bribery probe may well drop on May 26th which is the date of Brett Pfeffer’s sentencing. Pfeffer copped a plea in exchange for co-operating with the Feds. The Gumbo is getting thicker and thicker and I love to stir the pot…

Delusional In DC & Debrisville

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 06:00:00

Item-1 Delusional In DC: On the Third Anniversary of his idiotic imperial war in Iraq President Beavis told yet another whopper. Here’s part of his press conference exchange with Helen Thomas:

MS. THOMAS: I’d like to ask you Mr. President your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given publicly at least has turned out not to be true. My question is why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House from your Cabinet — your Cabinet officers intelligence people and so forth — what was your real reason? You have said it wasn’t oil — quest for oil it hasn’t been Israel or anything else. What was it?

THE PRESIDENT: I think your premise — in all due respect to your question and to you as a lifelong journalist — is that — I didn’t want war. To assume I wanted war is just flat wrong Helen in all due respect…

President Mars didn’t want war? I did not know that. The rest of his colloquy with Ms. Thomas was standard boilerplate Beavis: 9/11 bad; Saddam bad; Taliban bad; 9/11 bad; Saddam bad; Taliban bad…

What really scares me about President Beavis is that he believes this nonsense. I’ll take a cynic who lies and enjoys doing it like Tricky Dick any day over this delusional bible thumping chickenhawk. The good news is that people finally seem to be tuning him out. That’s what happens when you keep chanting simplistic slogans like my personal favorite: “Freedom is on the march.” Whoever wrote that line is smoking crack which rhymes with Iraq…

Prediction: The Homeland Insecurity Department will issue an increased terrorism alert some time soon. It happens every time Beavis gets in trouble and this time he’s neck deep in shit and sinking fast…

Item-2 Delusional In Debrisville: President Beavis isn’t the only one who acts like he’s smoking wacky tobacky C Ray made some amazing assertions to the AP:

“We should be able to sustain another Katrina ” the mayor said. “If a Category 5 hits us probably the city will be gone and the levees will still be standing. The work they’re doing is just incredible ” Nagin said of ongoing work by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.”

Let’s see we’re supposed to trust both C Ray *and* the Corps. If you believe them I have a bridge I’d like to sell you in Brooklyn…

Here’s another gem from Hizzonner: “People are pretty attuned to leaving if I say you have to leave so I don’t see that as being as much of a challenge ” he said.”

Jahwohl Herr Burgomeister. We are attuned to the voices in your head…Oops I said that I’d give up crazy jokes. You didn’t really believe me did you? Good. I write *about* delusional people not *for* them.

Here’s a potential campaign slogan for C Ray: Trust Nagin-Steady reliable and consistent in a crisis except when he changes his mind every 27 minutes. I guess that’s too long to be a good slogan. Oh well. Btw twenty years ago I would have asked C Ray what he was smoking and where I could score some…

STUPIDITY IS IN THE AIR

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 16:31:59

Item-1  Why Get Paid For Abandoned Cars When You Can Pay $23 Million To Have Them Towed? That may set a record for longest item heading in the lifetime of this blog. It’s sort of my answer to Nick Lowe’s (What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace Love and Understanding. Anyway a truly bizarre example of NOLA City Hallthink popped up in yesterday’s Picayune. It seems that a car crushing company is willing to pay Debrisville $100 per car to remove some 50 000 junked flooded and otherwise abandoned vehicles littering our streets. That would add up to $5 million for the nearly empty city coffers. Instead C Ray and his krewe of clones plan to pay $23 million to have someone tow the cars away. While there are some legal issues to be dealt with it’s nearly 7 months post-K and if folks haven’t taken care of their dead cars by now they never will. Besides according to Tulane Law Professor 2002 Mayoral Candidate and all-around good guy Vernon Palmer: “…the law is on the city’s side…Palmer cites city ordinance 66-101 a measure enacted during the Moon Landrieu administration to cope with a glut of abandoned cars that had accumulated over several years.

“They were talking about 2 000 or 3 000 cars and that was considered a crisis ” he noted dryly.

The ordinance is still on the books and it states that “junked abandoned and wrecked vehicles ” can be crushed and dismantled and sold for scrap 15 days after a certified letter is sent to its last known owner Palmer said. History shows the law which essentially turns the junkers into potential cash and leaves the solution to market forces worked.

“It’s not a very complicated way to deal with this ” Palmer said. “Once operators knew they could get the scrap value of the cars that quickly got the job done and they disappeared pretty fast. It seems to me that if you had a contractor operating within the guidelines of the ordinance it could be done.”

So let’s see we either pay out $23 million or someone pays us to remove the dead cars? Seems like a no brainer to everyone but the Nagin administration which specializes in making things worse. It’s also just plain STUPID.

Item-2  Second-Line Shooting In Central City: For the second time post-K some vicious cretin took advantage of a public gathering to shoot and kill someone he had a grudge against. An innocent bystander was also shot and the cops shot the perp in the thigh. Too bad they didn’t aim a bit to the left and give this vicious moron a pain in the johnson…

Item-3  B-Stupid Be Busted:  Sociopathic blood-thirsty idiot Ivory (B-Stupid) Harris was arrested yesterday for killing someone 7 blocks from Adrastos World HQ. He joins his accomplice and fellow gangbanger Jerome (Man Man) Hampton in the slammer.  B-Stupid is also the suspect in a string of evacuee murders in Houston. May he rot in Angola for a very long time…

Who Says You Can’t Fight City Hall?

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 16:29:32

It has been a busy week: I finally have time to  describe the hearing about the ugly and humongous condo in front of the City Planning Commission last Tuesday. The CPC meets in the Council of Clowns Chambers. It smelled of must greasepaint and hot air. There were big shoes and little motorcycles strewn about as if the clowns had abandoned them hastily…

There was a sizable crowd assembled; most of them were there to oppose the condo proposal. Two of Council Clown Gill-Pratfall’s challengers my candidate Shane Landry and Michael Duplantier were there to denounce the developer and his untalented and obnoxious architect’s plans. The CPC has adopted some *very* restrictive rules on testimony: the pro-development side was given 15 minutes plus a rebuttal. The anti-big ass ugly condo forces were also given 15 minutes but there were 13 of us to speak against the project. So much for free speech in front of a public body. I was not amused and neither was Michael Duplantier who raised his displeasure with the CPC. Btw Michael has piercing blue eyes and is bald enough to run for Mayor instead of City Council. Now that I think of it Shane also has piercing blue eyes but way too much hair to be a Mayoral candidate.

The developer performed fairly well but his architect is overbearing and obnoxious and played true to form. This guy completely undid any postive impact that the developer had. I really should send him dead flowers to thank him for screwing up so badly.

The opponents made some darn good speeches; especially the guy whose house is slated to be surrounded by the hideous condos. At the meeting in the hood he yelled and screamed but at City Hall he contained himself and sounded passionate instead of furious. Trust me he’s entitled to his fury. My boy Shane Landry made several good populist points about what I call the “yuppie ghetto.” He expressed concern about building a place for yuppies to live when NOLA needs affordable housing: “Rich people can live anywhere ” he said.

Well done Shane. He has superb people skills if he can just find the time to meet enough people Shane has a chance to unseat Gill-Pratfall. He made a good impression on the people at the CPC as did Michael Duplantier who is now my second choice to replace the idiotic incumbent.

I had very little time to speak so I was concise. Yeah really. I spoke for less than one minute. I know it’s a fricking miracle. On rebuttal the developer’s architect maligned and belittled opponents of the project in a way guaranteed to backfire. It did: the CPC deferred approval of the plan and told the developer to work with the neighborhood to make it more acceptable. We shall see…

In short we won round one but these zoning battles are usually long and drawn out. Additionally the position of Council Clown Gill-Pratfall remains murky. She’s probably awaiting instructions from her master Dollar Bill Jefferson before getting off the fence. Anyway the project’s future is in doubt and that’s fine with me. I hope that it’s dead but these things have a way of rising from the grave. I’m hoping that the municipal election will drive a stake through the project’s heart. Die ugly humongous condo project die. <the vampire images are flying thick and fast today>

THE GANG OF 19: ACT TWO

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 17:17:58

I threatened to give y’all more of my impressions and I don’t make empty threats.

Baldest Candidate: This is a close race but C Ray is the only one who shaves his pate so he gets the edge. The also-rans: Mitch Landrieu Rob (The Jerk) Couhig Leo Watermeier and the Indian Guy.

Conversation With God Award: There are a  boatload of candidates who seem to talk to the big fella all the time: Crazy Kim Mad Marie and C Ray but the winner is Norbert Rome. Mr. Rome informed the audience that he not only was told by Jahweh that he should run for Mayor but that Crazy Kim was there when it happened. I like it when the candidates get along…

The Mardi Gras Is A Pagan Festival Award: Also goes to Norbert Rome who is not a Baptist preacher he just sounds like one. Rome delivered a fairly lengthy harangue about Carnival’s homage to pagan gods. It was most amusing since I’m old pagan stock myself. Mr. Rome also declared that his first act as Mayor would be to pray. If he is somehow elected Mayor I’ll say a few prayers of deliverance myself to Bacchus…

Worst Recycled Campaign Cliche: 
Peggy Wilson kept trying to be the Ronald Reagan of NOLA politics by denouncing “Welfare Queens.” I prefer Oliver’s term “soap opera watchers” myself.  Hmm I wonder if Peggy’s campaign will adopt Neil Young’s “Welfare Mothers” as her campaign theme song? It has the catchy refrain:  Welfare mothers make better lovers…

Goofiest Campaign Cliche: Gorilla Ron Forman told us that he’s been dreaming for 33 years and that he’s “a dreamer and a doer.” Thanks for sharing Ronbo. I hope you wake up some time soon…

The Helen Reddy Memorial Award
: Goes to Mad Marie Galatas who informed the crowd that it’s time for a woman to be Mayor of Crazytown. Maybe so but we don’t need a crazy woman as Mayor to follow the crazy incumbent. Btw I’m not sure if Helen Reddy is still alive and I’m too lazy to google her.

A Suggestion For The Arts Candidate: James Arey is the self-proclaimed arts candidate. Here’s my suggestion: subsidize local bloggers; espescially those of Greek ancestry. It’s our turn to wallow in the public troth. Hey if Bishop Paul Morton. Rev. Tom Watson and Uncle Glen Haydel can be on the payroll why not  those of us who dwell in the blogosphere?

Only Male Candidate To Get A “Guy Hug” From Cranky Norman Award:
The winner is my boy Manny Chevrolet Bruno. A “guy hug” is when a manly man grasps another man’s shoulder and squeezes it lightly. Norman obviously got a kick out of Manny Chevrolet’s witty answers and rewarded the candidate with a firm handshake followed by a “guy hug.” You da Manny…

The Serious Bit: There was only a bit of race baiting last night but it reached its apogee with who else that notorious black racist Rev. Tom Watson. Watson made the astonishing assertion that he would reinstate the sensitivity training regimen proposed and quickly abandoned last summer by then NOPD Chief Eddie Compass. Why was it dropped? It was to be run by Dennis Muhammad of the Nation Of Islam; a protege of Mr. Sensitive himself Louis Farrakhan. That’s right the nation’s leading anti-semite and the man widely suspected by among others the Shabazz family of planning the assassination of Malcolm X.

After hearing this bombshell I quickly scrawled a question in the hopes that it would be asked in the audience question portion but it was not. I hope someone will have the cojones to ask Watson to clarify and expand upon his answer. Hey at least it proves that Watson won’t pander to the members of Temple Sinai which was the site of the forum. He’ll repulse and repel them but not pander to them…

And The Winners Are:  The organizers of the event and moderator Norman Robinson who pulled off a fairly coherent and highly entertaining forum despite having a small army of candidates onstage.

THE GANG OF 19

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 06:00:00

Greetings sports fans: Dr A and I went to the massive Mayoral forum at Temple Sinai Uptown. There were nearly as many people on stage as in the audience: 19 out of 23 candidates and Cranky Norman Robinson as moderator. Norman is everywhere y’all. I was of course exaggerating about the candidate to voter ratio: the temple was packed to the rafters. Oy such a crowd. Btw I was duty bound to go because my friend and neighbor Linda ran the show and I feared her wrath if I didn’t go. The last time I displeased her she pelted me with fruit: I’m sure you’ve heard of the grapes of wrath. <groaning at his own tall tale and horrid pun>

I took copious notes throughout but a narrative is impossible; mostly because my handwriting is so bad that I can’t read them. I have a law degree but a doctor’s penmanship. Anyway here are my Impressions: Curtis Mayfield Jerry Butler. Oops wrong impressions…

Funniest Candidate: Hands down Manny Chevrolet Bruno who has a delivery worthy of Johnny Carson or Adrastos. He even made Norman laugh and the Crankatollah is a tough room. Manny wants to turn NOLA into the Amsterdam of the USA and bring a red light district back to town. When the candidates were asked if they’d sell the airport to raise money Manny said that he’d sell the planes instead. Manny likes the film industry too: “It was my main source of income pre-Katrina. ”  Manny Chevrolet’s closing speech was outstanding; he chided the others for not having run before. “Only Sugar Ray and me ran in 2002. Where was everyone else?”

Most Attractive Candidates:  James (Fabulous) Arey among the men and Virginia Boulet among the women. Btw as pictured at the top of the post James Arey was a 5 time winner on Jeopardy in 1999. He’s a babe with brains; so is Virginia…

Candidate Who Sounds The Most Like Barry White: An oddly irrelevant category I know but if you want substance read Josh Marshall for chrissake. I’m here to cut up dish and shoot my mouth off like I know what I’m talking about. The winner is James Lemman an aircraft mechanic from the Ninth Ward. The man has a low-n-smooth voice.

The Blame The Liberals Candidate: Tied: Rob (Bald asshole lawyer from Adams and Reese) Couhig and Peggy (Still Shrill After All These Years) Wilson. These two spent most of the evening trying to out wingnut one another. The odd thing is that when I’ve seen La Peggy at the PRC she’s not at all shrill. Hell she was against the Wal-Mart giveaway. But her Mayoral campaign is competing for the Repub base in a town where it is still tinier than Brittany Spears’ brain.

Candidate With The Coolest Accent: It’s gotta be the Indian Guy restauranteur Mac (Noodles) Rahman who owns Sara’s Restaurant. He also scored points with me by denouncing the  Beavis-Duce-neo-con war in Iraq as pointless costly and idiotic. Way to go Indian Guy. Apu would be proud of you…

New Candidate Nickname: Now that I’ve listened to him in person and seen his pandering ads I’ve given Gorilla Ron a second nickname: Focus Group Forman. He’s gone from promising to tell people the “hard truths about recovery” to telling everyone what they want to hear. Way to go Ronnie baby you’re a real pro now.  Throw that man a banana. I could also steal a page from my late great countryman Paul Tsongas and call Ron a “Pander Bear.” Anybody else remember who that barb was aimed at during the 1992 presidential campaign? Here’s a hint: bad taste in mistresses…

Most Often Repeated Buzz Words: Peggy Wilson kept telling us that New Orleans should be a TAX FREE zone. She was both on message and on my nerves.  Yo Peg the Garden District is already a PROPERTY TAX FREE zone. Stop yelling Peggy it’s grating on my nerves. Me I’d rather grate cheese…

Most Often Repeated Buzz Words Runner-Up: Crazy Kim the queen of redundant speech kept saying: “Put a plan in place.” Perhaps it’s a tongue twister she’s trying to popularize. I somehow doubt that it will catch on: it’s no she sells seashells at the seashore….

Best Candidate Hair: Young Nick Bacque with an accent grave. He has curly brunette locks and could give James Arey a run for his money as the cutest male candidate but it’s a proven fact that gay men are more attractive than straight men. So Arey edges Nick out. I dunno who proved it but it’s the truth which to quote Difford and Tilbrook is “not my middle name.” Ah I enjoyed squeezing in that Squeeze reference. Btw Nick Bacque has a blog at his homepage but I couldn’t find a single Zappa reference…

Craziest Performance By A Candidate: There are so many loony tunes running: Sonja Lady Dedais Crazy Kim Norbert Rome but tonight’s winner is: Mad Marie Galatas. Mad Marie introduced herself as a “faith based person.” Glad ta meetcha Marie. She’s also very fond of the word utilize and at one point said: “I’ve been doing it for 40 years.” That was Mad Marie’s very own Barry White I mean Donna Summer moment. I’ll tell you more about Mad Marie Galatas some time soon: Deep Blog has been dishing the dirt on this nutbar. Documents I have documents…

Weirdest Image: Peggy Wilson quoted Ronald Reagan quoting Abraham Lincoln in her closer: “We’ll restore this beautiful city on a hill.” The old Jewish lady next to me turned to her husband and said in a stage whisper: “Hill? What hill?” I leaned over to her and said: “Monkey Hill.” Note for non-Debrisvillians: Monkey Hill at Audubon Zoo is said to be the highest point in NOLA. It’s a wee hill that Utahans would sneer at. Hell I sneer at it…

Best Closing Statement: The Singin’ Lt Gov Mitch Landrieu. He kept it tight and to the point. I wish he’d sung some show tunes instead but this was probably more effective…

Worst Closing Statement: C Ray is incapable of saying anything marginally coherent in less than an hour. He rambled   harumphed and ran out of time.

Speaking of closing statements I’m weary so I’ll continue this tomorrow. I really hadn’t planned to go on so long tonight but I can’t help myself. Hey it’s a Four Tops reference to end the show. Just call me the Levi Stubbs of bloggers y’all.

SHINE ON, YOU CRAZY KIMBA

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 15:14:07

Yes I’m back to the Syd Barrett/Pink Floyd analogy although I personally wish Crazy Kim wasn’t here.

Kimberly Williamson Butler was a busy nutjob this weekend. She actually spent Saturday doing her job as chief elections officer of Orleans Parish. Imagine that. Her office held a training session for election commissioners: many of our polling places and their usual minders are scattered post-K. So they’ve asked public spirited citizens to fill the breach: Dr. A for one Judy In Disguise for another and our friend Cookie Tom too. I’m not a morning person and the polls open obscenely early here; allegedly to accommodate hunters and fisherdudes. Besides my blogging services will be required that day. Just call me the master of rationalizations…

Crazy Kim claims that Orleans Parish will have enough election commissioners but Secretary of State Not Fox has accused KWB of cooking the books by exaggerating the number of commissioners: at one point she said that she had 1300 but more recently said that it was 982. Hmm I wonder if Kimba was involved in the search for WMD in Iraq too. Not Fox has called for KWB’s resignation for gross incompetence persistent silliness and disobeying that pesky court order. Crazy Kim was asked about this and went into Spike Lee mode and claimed that if necessary she’d do the right thing. Crazy Kim then repeated the phrase do the right thing more times than she has election commissioners…

In Sunday’s Picayune columnist Jarvis De Berry laced into Crazy Kim. He reminded those of us with Katrina brain of Crazy Kim’s sleaziest stunt:

“In July Butler took to the radio to encourage listeners whose criminal convictions were keeping them from voting to come to her office and get expungements (at $325 per charge) so they could vote — and especially vote for her. The truth is an expungement is to voting in Louisiana what a pair of skates is to whipping a meringue. There is no correlation. No matter the crime committed as long as a person is out of jail and isn’t on probation the law allows that person to register.

A woman called me in August to say that her middle-aged husband had done something uncharacteristically stupid as a young man. He had long ago served his time she said and the couple had often talked about how unfair it was that he couldn’t vote. He could have been voting all along. The fact that he didn’t know that isn’t Butler’s fault. Still it would have been nobody’s fault but hers if that man had been convinced that he needed to show up to her office with money before he could step inside a booth to vote.

How offensive it is to hear someone who tried to sneak through a modern-day version of a poll tax claim as Butler did Thursday that she belongs to a pantheon that includes Martin Luther King Jr. Rosa Parks Mohandas Gandhi and Nelson Mandela. “

Hey Jarvis thanks for blowing DeRaspberry at Kimba. Glad to share the story with you.

As you can see KWB is not only crazy she’s a dishonest hypocrite as well. Perhaps she should keep her powder dry and run for Dollar Bill Jefferson’s House Seat later this year. She’d fit right in on Capitol Hill…

Advertisements