Daily Archives: March 5, 2006

Everybody’s Running For Office/Retail Politics

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 06:00:00

Item-1 Everybody’s Running For Office: 116 candidates have qualified to run in the April 22nd Orleans Parish election; 23 to challenge C Ray alone. The Mayoral candidates range from the serious to the preposterous and C Ray and Crazy Kim can be counted in *both* categories. My personal favorite among the perennial candidates is Manny (Chevrolet) Bruno. You gotta love a name like that: I wonder if he plans to see the USA in his Chevrolet. Manny ran 13th out of 15 candidates in the 2002 election. I hope he’ll re-use his slogan from that year: A Troubled Man For Troubled Times.

Here are a few reactions to some of the candidates who qualified:

Best Gimmick: The “IQ” Ticket. 7 people are running as a ticket to oust the 7 Dwarfs aka the tax assessors. The IQ has nothing to do with intelligence: it means I Quit. That’s right y’all these people want Debrisville to have one tax assesor like Chicago New York Los Angeles storm ravaged Baton Rouge or even Bunkie. Imagine that. Additionally all 7 IQ candidates have listed IQ as their nickname on the ballot. In my district for example the candidate is Nancy “IQ” Martin. So it’s time to increase the IQ of the city by voting for the IQ candidate in your district. I guess you could call that Adrastos’ first (but probably not last) political endorsement as a blogger.

Famous Names: Dollar Bill Jefferson’s daughter Jamila is running for Crazy Kim’s post as Criminal Court Clerk. I guess Dollar Bill wants to secure *another* daughter’s political future (Jalila is my State Rep) before he’s obliged to wear a federal prison jump suit. Btw it’s been 16 days since I blogged about the WaPo’s  “Dollar Bill is up shit creek without a paddle” story and the Picayune has neither run it nor their own story. It’s time to get out of booster mode and face the ugly facts y’all. Dollar Bill may well  be rooming with ex-Repub Congressman Duke Cunningham in some Club Fed. Hey it’s gotta be better than rooming with the Bug Man…

Other well-known names include:
>>> Ex-Saints President Arnold Fielkow who is running for Council At Large. Fielkow’s main claim to fame is that he was fired for telling Tom (Archie Bunker) Benson that the Saints belonged in NOLA.
>>> 2002 Mayoral Candidate and ex-State Legislator Leonard Lucas who is also running At Large. Maybe he’s running to represent the soap opera watchers.  That’s the only bloc of voters Oliver Thomas won’t win. The Big Man is a shoo-in so all the at large candidates are effectively running for 1 seat and Councilwoman Jackie (Patty’s Mom) Clarkson has the edge.
>>> Former Criminal Court Judge perennial losing candidate and obsessive Harry Connick Sr. foe Morris Reed wants Mad Kim’s job as Criminal Court Clerk. I’m not sure what he thinks of Harry Junior’s music but I hear that Morris plans to bash Junior’s mediocre acting on “Will and Grace.”  Yeah I know   the Singin’ DA is retired but I doubt that Morris will let go of his Connickphobia. Of course I’m not wild about Harry Sr’s switching to the Repubs so perhaps Morris has a point. Nah.
>>> Finally James Singleton who is one of a gazillion challengers to Council Clown Gill-Pratfall. No sports fans this guy is NOT political legend and 6 term former Councilman Jim Singleton or even a relative of his. This Singleton however considers the ex-Council Prez and Zulu honcho to be his friend. I won’t be surprised if he gets some  votes from people who *think* he’s THE Jim Singleton. Hey if it stops people from voting for Gill-Pratfall it can’t be all bad…

Biggest Surprise To Adrastos:
Seeing the name of my friend and former neighbor Justin Zitler listed as a candidate for Civil Sheriff. Yes non-New Orleanians we have 2 count ’em 2
Sheriffs here in Orleans Parish. I emailed the Z-Man to ask if his platform is similar to the IQ ticket: saying abracadabra and making 1 Sheriff disappear. I haven’t heard back from him yet but it’s time to issue my second endorsement: Zitler for Civil Sheriff. Mind you he’s not always very civil (he’s a lawyer after all) but he’s a helluva good man. Damn this blog is becoming a regular Tammany Hall only without the graft power or patronage. Hmm I guess that makes me Boss Tweed. Or is that Tweedy? No that’s the leader of Wilco

Item-2 Retail Politics: I was hangin’ with the homeys well actually with my cats Pogo and Oscar when there was a knock on the door. It was Shane Landry who is one of the challengers to Council Clown Gill-Pratfall in District B. He’s very nice very smart and laughed at my jokes; a good combination. What I like about Shane is that he didn’t just talk: he listened to both Dr. A and me. He even took notes when he thought we’d made a good point. One thing he was very clear about: if elected his office will return phone calls reply to emails and letters and generally try to communicate with his constituents.

At one point I told Shane that Dr. A and I were considering putting signs for ALL the challengers in front of our house so that our neighbors would know we were ABGP (anybody but Gill-Pratfall) people. He laughed and said that would be fine with him. I may use that line on *other* candidates should I meet them. Consider it the Adrastos acid test. Damn now I sound like Ken Kesey or Tom Wolfe…

Anyway I’m not ready to endorse or commit to a District B candidate yet but I was very impressed by Shane Landry and plan to seriously consider supporting him. He actually spoke to us for an hour before moving on. We warned him that Harvard Boy had wall-to-wall Stacy Head for council signs in front of his house down the block but Shane planned to knock on his door anyway. A wise policy: it never hurts to be people’s second choice; if you make the run-off they may vote for you then.