Daily Archives: March 6, 2006

UPDATE: CRAZY KIM GOES TO THE SLAMMER

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 18:33:01

Right after I posted about Crazy Kim I learned that her appearance before *all* the criminal court judges did not go well and she has been sentenced to 72 hours in the pokey and a $500 fine for contempt of court. I suspect that she probably repeated her “I changed my mind” defense to the judges. I’m sure that the judges *tried* not to jail her. Who wants to add another flight to her high-rise persecution complex after all? I’m sure Mad Kim will start comparing herself to Dr. King and Gandhi now. She reminds me more of Screaming Lord Sutch the founder of the Raving Monster Loony Party.

I’ll update y’all on the continuing saga of Crazy Kim as the details trickle in. I’m hoping they make her wear stripes in the slammer but I suppose it will be an orange or blue jumpsuit for her instead. Stripes would go better with a strait jacket…

UPDATE: CRAZY KIM GOES TO THE SLAMMER

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 18:33:01

Right after I posted about Crazy Kim I learned that her appearance before *all* the criminal court judges did not go well and she has been sentenced to 72 hours in the pokey and a $500 fine for contempt of court. I suspect that she probably repeated her “I changed my mind” defense to the judges. I’m sure that the judges *tried* not to jail her. Who wants to add another flight to her high-rise persecution complex after all? I’m sure Mad Kim will start comparing herself to Dr. King and Gandhi now. She reminds me more of Screaming Lord Sutch the founder of the Raving Monster Loony Party.

I’ll update y’all on the continuing saga of Crazy Kim as the details trickle in. I’m hoping they make her wear stripes in the slammer but I suppose it will be an orange or blue jumpsuit for her instead. Stripes would go better with a strait jacket…”

Bits & Bobs

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 16:50:41

I *do* plan to do an Oscar overview but that’ll have to wait. Life is in the way of such a vast undertaking this morning. How’s that for an excuse? I thought it was pretty good myself; much better than the dog ate the homework or the cat shat on said homework excuse.

Item-1 NOMA Returns:
That’s the New Orleans Museum of Art for my out of town readers. NOMA re-opened with a bang this weekend: live music food arts and crafts the exhumation of famous local artist Enrique Alferez. I made that last bit up. Thanks to its very clever director John Bullard and some very generous benefactors NOMA is for now open free of charge to Louisiana residents. If that ain’t you tell them you know Adrastos and they’ll probably throw you out on your ass…Hey that’s what I’d do if you mentioned my name. I guess I’ve been hanging out with Mike Hammer too much.

Dr. A and I went to NOMA yesterday. It was a gorgeous day so we spent part of our time in NOMA’s wonderful sculpture garden which is named for the Besthoffs; the folks who co-owned the much missed local drugstore chain  K & B. Pronounced kay bees by local yats. Things haven’t been the same since they sold out to Wrong Aid. End of ain’t dere no more digression. I seem to be chaneling local songwriter and all around yat wackjob   Benny Grunch

Anyway one of the exhibits we saw inside was of 64 photos from the permanent collection. I was pleased to see that Adrastos reader and local photo whiz Jen Shaw was represented with her nifty photo entitled “Barber Pest Control.” I used to live a few blocks from Barber but always crossed the street so they wouldn’t spray me. Pests like me can’t take any chances…

Item-2 Stephanie Grace Uncle Earl and Crazy Kim: Ace Picayune political columnist Stephanie Grace conjures up the spirit of Earl K. Long in the wake of Crazy Kim’s antics. Stephanie wonders if Uncle Earl’s  ghost is whispering in Kimba’s ear. I dunno Stephanie I think Uncle Earl would keep several parishes between himself and Mad Kim.

Yeah I know Uncle Earl went bonkers briefly and ran around the state with Blaze Starr back in 1959. BUT Uncle Earl was also a competent Governor and a master politician; nobody’s ever accused Crazy Kim of competence. Also one of the reasons folks thought Uncle Earl had lost it was that he started advocating equal rights for black folks. If that’s crazy I’ll have me a big glass of crazy on the rocks with bourbon…

Mike Hammer Wimps Out

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 06:00:00

I am of course referring to the NOLA investment banker Mike Hammer who ended his mayoral campaign with a whimper by not even qualifying instead he endorsed Gorilla Ron Forman. His well-known fictional counterpart Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer is outraged. Regular readers of this blog know that the real albeit fictional Mike Hammer is a recurring visitor to the Adrastos Virtual Cafe and he’s my guest blogger today. Take it away enraged fictional person:

An Open Letter From Mike Hammer to Mike Hammer: Give Me Back My Name-

Hey Mikey what the hell were ya thinking? I thought you were a stand up guy but now you’ve folded your tent and wanna slink off in the night like a weenie. I never figured you for a wuss who’d be scared off by a guy named Clarence. Imagine that: Clarence Ray Fucking Nagin. Chocolate city, schmocolate city. I was counting on you to slap some sense into C Ray pally. I’m fucking disappointed Mikey, you share my name so I share your shame. Damn, I’m rhymin’ like that preachin’ pol from Chicago now and it’s down to you Mikey boy. Look what you’ve driven me to. There’s not enough whiskey in the world to drown my sorrows tonight.  Not even my Sinatra records can make me feel better. And if the chairman of the board can’t pick a man up slap him around and make him whole again nothin’ can. I’m also blue because Darren McGavin who played me on the tube in the Fifties died last week and I was too busy shaking down drunks for beads on Bourbon Street to go to the funeral.  It’s just me and Stacy Keach left now so I gotta be careful. I dunno why an actor who played me has got a girl’s name but he’s a stand up guy in spite of it.

We Mike Hammers gotta stick together and you let me down, pally. It hurts man.I got an idea how you can make this right Mikey boy. Give my back my name. That’s right. It was mine long before you were a bun in the oven or even a glint in your lecherous pa’s eye. Give me back my name. Got a nice ring to it don’t it? My pal Adrastos tells me that there’s a rock song of that name  by some combo called Talking Heads. Now except for Elvis I don’t go in for that rock-n-roll crapola; give me Sinatra, Eckstine, Torme, and broads like Ella, Rosie, and Sarah any day.  But those Talking Heads they got a point Mikey boy. Give me back my name. I know their singer is a doofus in a big suit but even a dork can make sense some of the time. Tell ya what Mikey boy give me back my name and I’ll leave you be. I won’t even kick your ass for supporting that poser Gorilla Ron. A guy named Mike Hammer should be for the working stiffs and that Gorilla Ron is just a stiff. Here’s my final offer: give me back my name and I’ll go easy on you pally.

Mike Hammer

Back to you Adrastos:

Thanks Mike. Those were lenient terms. Btw, the doofus in the big suit is named David Byrne and he stopped making sense years ago. And Mike I think Adrian Monk coined the perfect term to describe Banker Mike Hammer: he’s a muss; part man and part wuss. Yeah I know, Monk is too tidy for your taste Mike but you gotta admit he’s one helluva shamus…