Delusional In DC & Debrisville

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 06:00:00

Item-1 Delusional In DC: On the Third Anniversary of his idiotic imperial war in Iraq President Beavis told yet another whopper. Here’s part of his press conference exchange with Helen Thomas:

MS. THOMAS: I’d like to ask you Mr. President your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given publicly at least has turned out not to be true. My question is why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House from your Cabinet — your Cabinet officers intelligence people and so forth — what was your real reason? You have said it wasn’t oil — quest for oil it hasn’t been Israel or anything else. What was it?

THE PRESIDENT: I think your premise — in all due respect to your question and to you as a lifelong journalist — is that — I didn’t want war. To assume I wanted war is just flat wrong Helen in all due respect…

President Mars didn’t want war? I did not know that. The rest of his colloquy with Ms. Thomas was standard boilerplate Beavis: 9/11 bad; Saddam bad; Taliban bad; 9/11 bad; Saddam bad; Taliban bad…

What really scares me about President Beavis is that he believes this nonsense. I’ll take a cynic who lies and enjoys doing it like Tricky Dick any day over this delusional bible thumping chickenhawk. The good news is that people finally seem to be tuning him out. That’s what happens when you keep chanting simplistic slogans like my personal favorite: “Freedom is on the march.” Whoever wrote that line is smoking crack which rhymes with Iraq…

Prediction: The Homeland Insecurity Department will issue an increased terrorism alert some time soon. It happens every time Beavis gets in trouble and this time he’s neck deep in shit and sinking fast…

Item-2 Delusional In Debrisville: President Beavis isn’t the only one who acts like he’s smoking wacky tobacky C Ray made some amazing assertions to the AP:

“We should be able to sustain another Katrina ” the mayor said. “If a Category 5 hits us probably the city will be gone and the levees will still be standing. The work they’re doing is just incredible ” Nagin said of ongoing work by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.”

Let’s see we’re supposed to trust both C Ray *and* the Corps. If you believe them I have a bridge I’d like to sell you in Brooklyn…

Here’s another gem from Hizzonner: “People are pretty attuned to leaving if I say you have to leave so I don’t see that as being as much of a challenge ” he said.”

Jahwohl Herr Burgomeister. We are attuned to the voices in your head…Oops I said that I’d give up crazy jokes. You didn’t really believe me did you? Good. I write *about* delusional people not *for* them.

Here’s a potential campaign slogan for C Ray: Trust Nagin-Steady reliable and consistent in a crisis except when he changes his mind every 27 minutes. I guess that’s too long to be a good slogan. Oh well. Btw twenty years ago I would have asked C Ray what he was smoking and where I could score some…

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