DOLLAR BILL SELLS OUT/KENNER’S UGLY ELECTION

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 18:51:20
Item-1 Dollar Bill Sells Out:
Of course he sold out years ago. In this case I’m referring to a story in the local rag this morning. Here’s a quote for the gullible:

“Jefferson’s spokeswoman said Wednesday that the sale has nothing to do with a federal criminal investigation swirling around [Congressman]  Jefferson. In January a former aide pleaded guilty in federal court saying Jefferson sought bribes to push through a telecommunications deal in Nigeria. Jefferson has denied any wrongdoing and has not been charged with a crime.

“He is buying another house in the area ” spokeswoman Melanie Roussell said. “He is running for re-election. He is not going anywhere.”

Yeah right. And I’m a Republican oil man from Texas.

It’s nice to know that Debrisville isn’t the only place where powerful people’s property is under assessed. Check this out: “If Jefferson gets what he is asking it will serve notice that Capitol Hill property assessments are way out of line. The District of Columbia where assessors are not elected as they are in New Orleans assessed the property last year at $359 090.”

Dollar Bill is asking $799K for his 2700 square foot DC house. He stands to make a cool profit of $650K if he gets his asking price. Good to know that Dollar Bill will have plenty of dosh to put in his freezer.

The clock is ticking. The Dollar Bill era is coming to a close. Here’s hoping that his weakness will help take out his lackey Council Clown Gill-Pratfall. Viva la revolucion.

Item-2  Kenner’s Ugly Election: Mayoral candidates incumbent Phil Capitano and Police Chief Nick Congemi are involved in a grudge rematch. Congemi stayed on as Chief of Police after his narrow defeat and has lifted his leg on Capitano at every opportunity. Capitano who was elected as a reformer has been under investigation by the Feds for the way Kenner handled FEMA money post-K. Capitano claims to have been vindicated but that’s a self-serving interpretation of a murky situation.

There’s a third candidate former Jefferson Parish Councilman Ed Muniz. He’s running an excellent campaign ad wherein he says that the other factions are irreconcilable  and that he’d stop the endless pissing match if elected. Muniz is best known locally as the Captain and founder of my least favorite Carnival parade Endymion. Yo Captain Ed if elected why doncha move your glitzy vacuous parade to the burbs where it belongs. I can’t offer to vote for you since I hate suburban tract housing and live Uptown but I’d consider an endorsement if you’ll take Endymion out to deep shit suburbia.

Finally the item title isn’t just about the TONE of the candidates it’s about the candidates themselves. Phil Capitano is one of the ugliest dudes anywhere. He’s got beady little rat eyes bat ears una boca grande and large scary Nutria-like teeth. He should be defeated just so we don’t have to see him on the 6 0’Clock news any more. Nick Congemi isn’t ugly but he’s no looker either. Muniz is sort of an ordinary fiftysomething Repub businessman type but compared to Capitano he’s Cary Grant. 

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