Daily Archives: June 17, 2006

DOLLAR BILL: POOR, POOR PITIFUL ME

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 18:39:19

Dollar Bill Jefferson told some porkies yesterday about his ouster from the omnipotent House Ways & Means Committee. (A porky is a Britism for a lie and I thought it was time to use a word other than powerful to describe the committee.) Anyway our klepto Congressman claimed that he got a standing ovation from the caucus after his speech. Of course he’s the only one who has made that claim. Count me as skeptical: after all   to paraphrase Chris Difford the truth is not Dollar Bill’s middle name.

After that whopper Dollar Bill drifted off into cloud cuckoo land when he claimed that he would have won the vote if not for that racist meanie Nancy Pelosi “begging and arm twisting” members of the caucus. Bill Bill Bill: do you really believe the shit that comes out of your mouth? I certainly hope not.  There’s no way that the Democratic Leader would have called for a vote if she didn’t have the numbers. Granted Pelosi is no Sam Rayburn Dick Gephardt or Hale Boggs BUT she’s not a total fool.  She’s also one of the most liberal members of the House which makes her an unlikely racist.

Dollar Bill is desperate and backed into a corner so naturally he’s going to play the race card. Why not? It worked for C Ray. I’m sick and tired of the cult of the victim; especially when someone like Dollar Bill starts whining about being victimized. We live in the Age Of Oprah where being a victim is something to be proud of. This reminds me of some of the post-K semantic antics that struck me as very odd indeed. It’s okay to be called a victim but NOT a refugee? Weird weird weird.

Friday was a busy day on the Dollar Bill front: right after the vote there was a hearing before Federal Judge Thomas Hogan on the motion to suppress the evidence taken from Dollar Bill’s office. The Judge signaled that he is unlikely to buy the House leadership’s argument that they’re above the law. (That’s not literally their argument I decided to cut through the crap.) Astonishingly Bruce Alpert’s story in the Picayune missed the money quote from Judge Hogan. Check this out:“The speech and debate clause is not a  hide and conceal clause.” Yo TP editors tell your boy to pay more attention when he’s in a courtroom. I had to get the money quote from the WaPo. Of course the editors *may* have cut the quote. Either way y’all screwed up. I am shocked shocked; not not…

Finally back to the title of this post. I gotta do this or experience the wrath of blogger extraordinaire Ashley (Accidentally Like A Martyr) Morris. The title is of course borrowed from the late great Warren Zevon’s classic tune and Ashley ran a swell web site devoted to all things Zevon which is still online.  Anyhoo I keep visualizing Dollar Bill on a bandstand dressed up as Mr. Freeze and singing:

“Poor poor pitiful me   poor poor pitiful me. Pelosi won’t let me be lord have mercy on me. Woe is me.”