Daily Archives: September 3, 2006

C RAY ON THE TOWN: THE EXPLODING PIE TOUR

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 00:06:51

“New York New York a helluva town.The Bronx is up but the Battery’s down.
The people ride in a hole in the groun’. New York New York it’s a helluva town.”

I’m not sure if I was the only one who thought of the tune “New York New York” from the Bernstein Comden & Green musical “On The Town” when C Ray made his dumb ass “hole in the ground” comment on 60 Minutes. I do make connections that no one in their right mind should ever make; it’s my lot in life. Of course the Comden and Green lyric refers to the subway but hey it scans. Speaking of holes C Ray has one in his head but it’s hard to see because his head is up his ass and his foot is always in the way. (Damn that was a convoluted sentence.) I’m also most familiar with the Gene KellyFrank Sinatra film version of “On The Town” and they say it’s a “wonderful” town. It is too.

Now that C Ray has failed as a leader he’s put on his salesman hat and moseyed up to New York New York. I’m sure that the Rob Couhigs of the world expect him to be good at selling because he “understands business” and the free market. Why? C Ray worked for a regulated quasi utility (Cox Cable) that was a monopoly while he was there. If he understands the free market it’s not from his past job.

I also noticed that developer and new urbanism cheerleader Pres (Wal-Mart Uber Alles) Kabacoff is part of the Mayor’s party. I guess Pres is there to tell other fat cat developers how to milk the feds and state for tax credits. Also along for the ride is Quarter bar owner Earl Bernhardt. Earl is supposedly there to discuss doing business on Bourbon Street but his real mission is to get the press corps wasted on hand grenades. It will make C Ray’s jivey propaganda pitch go down better man.

Ernie The Attorney had a terrific post about C Ray’s apology for the hole in the ground gaffe. I don’t usually quote posts en toto but this is a masterpiece:

Nagin – our goodwill goofball ambassador

When 60 Minutes came to town and Nagin was dogged by the reporter about our slow recovery he was his usual self (i.e. fire ready aim) referring to NYC’s failure to fix their 9/11 ‘hole in the ground.’  Of course when he recently visited NYC to drum up business for our flagging city he first had to apologize for his goofball comments.  I suppose he wants credit now for admitting his prior comments were insensitive.  Here’s what he says now: “I will never refer to that site as a hole …It’s a a sacred site that’s currently in an undeveloped state.”

Just like his mind except for the ‘sacred’ part.”

Glad to see you’re in touch with your inner Shecky Ernie. That was a fabulous rim shot at the end.

It will be interesting to see how C Ray plays on Broadway. His act has bombed at home so maybe Al Sharpton can help him wow the critics on the great white way; not that Al would ever call it that. It’s unclear if there will be a meeting of Mayoral party switchers: C Ray the ex-Republican/nominal Democrat and Michael Bloomberg the ex-Democrat/nominal Repub. Party switching is the only thing the two mayors have in common: Bloomberg is competent and knows that his foot belongs on the pavement not in his mouth.

I do hope that C Ray brought along lots of exploding pie to serve up with the bullshit. Y’all remember the exploding pie dontcha? It was Nagin’s chosen image for the economic boom he’s waiting to erupt. The pie remains unexploded and we’re still waiting. Hell we’d settle for Macca’s “Flaming Pie” at this point but we’re still waiting. And you know what Tom Petty said: “You take it on faith you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part.”

UPDATE:  The Picayune’s Gordon Russell wrote a pretty good account of C Ray’s attempt to take Manhattan. The bald-n-buffed one faced some skepticism. No surprise. There was also a piece about Carnival sponsorship efforts which include televising the parades on Mardi Gras day. The scariest thing about this proposal is the concept of a get ready Nagin Cam. C’mon man that’s a terrible idea man. My head aches just thinking about it…