SCARRED FOR LIFE

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 18:39:04

Before I became a widely derided pundit I used to write a lot about my dumbass white trash next door neighbors: Mr. and Mrs. Moron. Dr. A and I sometimes believe that they were put next door to us as punishment for some obscure infraction. They’re the sort of people who when confronted with options will pick the stupidest possible course. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if they were the ones who put  the major appliance in a pothole near Chris Rose’s house.

Anyway today I looked out my kitchen window and beheld a fearsome and awesomely stupid sight: It was Mr. Moron stripped to the waist leaning over a table saw his paunch way too close to the blade. This was a terrifying sight for so many reasons. First Mr. Moron is to be charitable butt ugly. I’d call him simian but that would be an insult to apes everywhere. Second the image of the saw slitting his ample gut entered my head. The last thing I want to see is Moron bits flying about the neighborhood. Mercifully Mr. Moron retreated from the table saw before the slasher film in my head became a reality.

The image however of Mr. Moron’s hairy belly dangling over the saw is seared on my memory. I am scarred for life. On the other hand it gave me an amusing blog entry so it’s no big whoop. I feel better already…

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