Thu, 12 Jul 2007 05:01:48

Vitty Cent is doing his C Ray impression and seems to be hiding under a bed somewhere. (Or maybe he’s visiting the Vice in the latter’s bunker.) He’s missed votes and hearings his DC office is semi-deserted and his diaper service bill is unpaid. The longer he hides out the worse it’s going to get for him. America usually loves a confession from a repentant sinner BUT they need to grovel and abase themselves in person. I’m beginning to wonder if Vitter can survive the onslaught of bad pub and worst of all mockery. They’re even making fun of him on Fox Noise as you can see on this clip from Tpmtv:


The political rumor mill is grinding overtime. There’s a report in the Shreveport Times that some senior Louisiana Repubs plan to call for Vitty to quitty. Initially I thought Vitter would survive but there seems to be more and more talk that he’s a pree-vert who could even slow down the Jindalization of politics in the Gret Stet. I’m uncertain that he’ll ever be taken seriously again unless he stands up like a mensch and delivers a Vitty version of Tricky Dick’s Checkers speech:

The Checkers speech worked and since Vitty’s voice is vaguely reminiscent of Nixon’s he’d do well to imitate it instead of Gimme Jimmy Swaggart’s “I have sinned” shtick.  I tried to find *the* Jimmy Swagger clip on YouTube but it was missing in inaction. Bummer man. I did however find a classic Nixon moment that Vitty should *not* emulate:

I keep waiting for Jefferson Parish Sheriff Harry Lee to weigh in on the Vitter scandal. Lee and Vitter have been blood enemies since snitty Vitty was shitty to Harry when the whoremonger was a mere state legislator. To paraphrase Paul Simon: Where have you gone Sheriff Harry Lee a blogger turns his lonely eyes on you. Woo woo woo.

I’m hoping to hear some prime Harry Lee invective any day now. Speak up Harry. I know you’ve been sick but here’s a chance to knee Vitty in the groin which will be satisfying even if he’s now a castrato.

I think that Vitter’s chances of surviving are 50-50 and decreasing all the time. If he doesn’t speak out personally and soon he’s a goner. It’s ironic that I of all people am demanding that Vitter speak out: I’ve been wanting him to STFU for years.

It’s time for Vitty to quitty and it ain’t no pity. It’s time for me to stop rhymin’ cos I ain’t no Paul Simon…


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