Category Archives: Hurricane Katrina/Federal Flood

FORUM FOLLIES MONDAY EDITION: THE QUENTIN BROWN EXPERIENCE

Wed, 05 Apr 2006 16:41:57

It’s City Council District B forum week. The candidates are doing this from Monday through Thursday. It’s an endurance contest y’all. Tonight is our forum but I went on Monday as well because it was held by the *other* neighborhood association in my area. It was a mess but an entertaining mess.

First a disclaimer. I’ve gotten to know and like 4 of the candidates so my blogging detachment is somewhat impaired. In short while I’ll tease Shane Landry Michael Duplantier Stacy Head and Marshall Truehill they won’t get the full Adrastos treatment. It’s a pity I know but I have a double standard for everyone I know in real time; with the possible exception of Harvard Boy. I’ve also met Quentin Brown but it’s impossible not to yank his chain and he can take it: straight up. As to the incumbent Councilwoman Renee Gill-Pratfall: no comment. I was however raised to be polite to everyone so when I run into her I am always courteous but icy. Consider me Mr. Freeze when it comes to NOLA machine pols; especially those who are wholly owned subsidiaries of Dollar Bill Jefferson.

The forum was held in the somewhat dreary rec room at St. George’s Episcopal Church on St. Charles Avenue. I’ve been trading emails with all the candidates but hadn’t met Stacy or Marshall FTF before. I was glad to meet them; both are very smart and pleasant people. This forum was on NOLA time and started 15 minutes late even though the candidates were all on time even the incumbent who is usually on Clinton or Morial time which is even later than NOLA time. Dr. A disapproves of tardiness she’s punctual almost to a fault. That’s why she’ll be the timekeeper for tonight’s forum.

Before the forum I was chatting with Marshall Truehill and Quentin Brown. Quentin’s suit was a bit large and he explained that he’d lost some weight post-K. Everyone in Debrisville has either gained or lost 20 pounds post-K. I wish that I were on the Quentin Brown/Chris Rose weight loss team but alas I am not. Anyway Ms. Gill-Pratfall came over and actually acted as if she recalled meeting me. It was a first; I’ve met her 10-12 times over the last 4 years and not only does she never remember me (that doesn’t bother me) but she doesn’t even fake it. That *does* bother me: people are her job. We exchanged mild pleasantries and she went off to explode more fertile possibilities. I’m purt near the last person in the district who would ever vote for her.

Dr. A and I sat in the middle of the cramped low-ceilinged room; we had a good view of Shane Stacy and Ms. Gill-Pratfall. Bettye Duplantier came and sat with us. The poor dear was tired from all her exertions on behalf of Michael. In short she was a bit punchy but  even an exhausted Bettye exudes grace and charm. I was able to pry a Duplantier for Council pencil out of her even though she informed me that they were for children. I assured her that I was an overgrown child. Dr. A was quick to agree.

The forum was a wild one. The moderator established rules and then failed to enforce them which made it a frustrating experience for many of us. You’ll never hear a discouraging word from any of the candidates though: they were glad to have 75 or so people there to listen to them. But I was appalled: the hosts thanked neither the church nor the candidates.

Listening is not Quentin Brown’s forte. He was something of a disruptive albeit entertaining force. His campaign slogan is: “No B-S No More.” And half the time Quentin makes a lot of sense but the rest of the time he leaves you scratching your head. BUT Quentin has a natural gift for colorful language and phrase making. Straight up as the man himself would say. He got into trouble by cussing a bit whenever he talked about Gill-Pratfall. I just cuss about her in private but Quentin does it early often and openly. Straight up y’all.  Most of the time the audience was laughing *with* Quentin. Eventually Marshall Truehill got frustrated with Quentin and essentially asked him to back off. Quentin did so. He actually a very nice guy but his picture *is* in the dictionary next to the phrase “loose cannon.”

Oh yeah a vintage Quentin Brown moment. The Duplantier camp has water bottles with their logo on it. Quentin noticed this and said: “The dude is bad. He got his own water.” He also seems to be a bit smitten with Stacy Head; I halfway expected him to ask her out…

As to the substance of the debate I thought that Duplantier Landry and Truehill did the best. Stacy Head was a bit nervous at the beginning but eventually warmed to the task. I think that she’ll do very well in a more structured forum; she’s a very methodical person. The incumbent said some truly astonishing things. Gill-Pratfall claimed that her office had a “quality control” system when it came to constituent service. If they file things it’s in the trash. I have written dozens of letters and emails and called her office repeatedly and every time it’s as if the prior contact never happened. After the forum Dr. A told Marshall and Miranda Truehill that dealing with Gill-Pratfall’s office is like the film “Groundhog Day.” It is too. I’m not the only wit in the family. Well done hon.

Anyway there were a lot of comments post-forum about the look on my face when Gill-Pratfall reeled off a string of whoppers that went well beyond spin: her office’s constituent service is good; she always sides with neighbors against developers and blah and blah and blah.  She doesn’t even TALK to people in the neighborhoods let alone side with them. If she did she wouldn’t have supported opening the freaking Wal-Mart on Tchoupitoulas Street.  Back to *my* reaction when RGP was rattling off her falsehoods I noticed Shane nudging Stacy so she’d see the look on my face. I was told by several people including Miranda Truehill that it looked as if my head was going to explode. It nearly did too. It would have been a real mess….

Gill-Pratfall kept telling the audience “that’s not my job.” It was her standard refrain even for things that *are* part of her job. This led to the most dramatic moment of the forum. Michael Duplantier had a look of disgust on his face and said in a voice full of icy anger: “That’s the problem with the whole system. It’s NEVER anyone’s job. That’s why problems get passed around and nothing ever gets done.” That’s a paraphrase but that’s the gist of what he said. Michael is usually a very formal man but he let his passion shine through. Well said Monsieur Duplantier.

After the forum I met two of the candidate spouses for the first time. Rebecca Landry was handing out doubloons with her husband’s name on them; it’s a cool carnivalesque campaign gimmick. Dr. A and I introduced ourselves and Becky knew who we were immediately. She told us: “One day Shane came home from campaigning and said: I met the nicest people today. I spent an hour with them.” Becky replied: “Did they *want* you to stay an hour?” Actually we did but he met one very nice person Dr. A and her husband who is only nice when it’s leap year…

Anyway the room was quite noisy and I told Becky that Shane had asked me how I thought he’d done and I made a few comments about his performance to him. I added: “I used to be a handler.”

She looked puzzled and said: “Hampster?”

“That too but I got tired of the damn wheel in my cage.”

I stopped being a wise guy and told her what I’d really said. We had a good laugh over it. The room *was* loud and I have a hard time passing on a good straight line even an inadvertent one. I figure Shane won’t challenge me to a duel over this episode: one of his biggest assets as a candidate is his sense of humor. Even in these troubled times in Debrisville we all need to laugh; especially now…

At the end of the evening I met Miranda Truehill. Her husband Marshall is tall and lanky; Miranda is as petite as she is sweet. We were talking and I noticed she had a British accent plus. I asked her what the plus was and it was Australian. I’m both an Anglophile as well as a connoisseur of accents so I really enjoyed chatting with Miranda. She gave me a yard sign to add to our collection: we have a sign for almost all the District B challengers; except  for Stacy Head. Yo Harvard Boy Stacy loves the garden of signs idea: where’s my sign? I’m sayin’ this straight up: I need my sign. Ya feel me Harvard Boy?

Finally a self-serving finale for my Debrisville readers. The District B forum my group is co-sponsoring is tonight at 7PM at Touro Synagogue. Come and meet some of the recurring characters in this blog. We actually have a good choice this time around so come and see them for yourselves. Btw if you meet Harvard Boy ask him where the hell my sign is. Muchas gracias.”

C Ray’s Car Contract Crashes/Dollar Bill Bribery Probe Update

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 06:00:00

Item-1 C Ray’s Car Contract Crashes: CH2M Hill the company that the Nagin administration planned to pay $23 million to remove dead cars from Debrisville has withdrawn its bid. The company which was not even close to being the lowest bidder   claimed that it was withdrawing because it wanted to serve the best interests of the city. Yeah right. It has nothing to do with the whole thing failing the smell test…

C Ray of course will continue to claim to be a reformer out to protect the city from the machinations of the Landrieus and other evil politicians. As local blogger Schroeder said last night on another subject in his blog People Get Ready: “Ray Ray’s hittin’ the crack pipe again.”

Item-2 Dollar Bill Bribery Probe Update: At the risk of sounding like a broken record 35 days after the WaPo’s front page Dollar Bill Jefferson story the local rag has finally noticed that our Congressman is in big trouble. Prosecutors have issued subpeonas to white shoe NOLA law firm Jones Walker requiring them to produce documents that probably have something to do with Jamila Jefferson who worked for the firm in 2004. That’s a key year in the Dollar Bill bribery inquiry. 2004 is when ex-Jefferson aide Brett Pfeffer has alleged that a thus far nameless Congressman asked him to solicit a bribe from a  telecommunications firm hoping to land a contract in Nigeria. Pfeffer who is Dollar Bill’s worst nightmare also told the feds: “…that the congressman wanted legal work for the African deal to be given to a family member and other work associated with the telecommunications deal be given to another family member for a monthly retainer of between $2 500 and $5 000.”

Jeez who could that be? Jamila Jefferson? Or maybe it’s SATAN he said in his best Church Lady impression. Btw Jamila Jefferson recently withdrew from the race to take Crazy Kim’s place as Clerk Of Criminal Court. The Jefferson machine seems to be on the run at long last…

Disclaimer: It is unclear as of this writing whether or not Jamila Jefferson is suspected of wrong-doing by the Feds.

The next shoe in the Dollar Bill bribery probe may well drop on May 26th which is the date of Brett Pfeffer’s sentencing. Pfeffer copped a plea in exchange for co-operating with the Feds. The Gumbo is getting thicker and thicker and I love to stir the pot…

Delusional In DC & Debrisville

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 06:00:00

Item-1 Delusional In DC: On the Third Anniversary of his idiotic imperial war in Iraq President Beavis told yet another whopper. Here’s part of his press conference exchange with Helen Thomas:

MS. THOMAS: I’d like to ask you Mr. President your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given publicly at least has turned out not to be true. My question is why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House from your Cabinet — your Cabinet officers intelligence people and so forth — what was your real reason? You have said it wasn’t oil — quest for oil it hasn’t been Israel or anything else. What was it?

THE PRESIDENT: I think your premise — in all due respect to your question and to you as a lifelong journalist — is that — I didn’t want war. To assume I wanted war is just flat wrong Helen in all due respect…

President Mars didn’t want war? I did not know that. The rest of his colloquy with Ms. Thomas was standard boilerplate Beavis: 9/11 bad; Saddam bad; Taliban bad; 9/11 bad; Saddam bad; Taliban bad…

What really scares me about President Beavis is that he believes this nonsense. I’ll take a cynic who lies and enjoys doing it like Tricky Dick any day over this delusional bible thumping chickenhawk. The good news is that people finally seem to be tuning him out. That’s what happens when you keep chanting simplistic slogans like my personal favorite: “Freedom is on the march.” Whoever wrote that line is smoking crack which rhymes with Iraq…

Prediction: The Homeland Insecurity Department will issue an increased terrorism alert some time soon. It happens every time Beavis gets in trouble and this time he’s neck deep in shit and sinking fast…

Item-2 Delusional In Debrisville: President Beavis isn’t the only one who acts like he’s smoking wacky tobacky C Ray made some amazing assertions to the AP:

“We should be able to sustain another Katrina ” the mayor said. “If a Category 5 hits us probably the city will be gone and the levees will still be standing. The work they’re doing is just incredible ” Nagin said of ongoing work by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.”

Let’s see we’re supposed to trust both C Ray *and* the Corps. If you believe them I have a bridge I’d like to sell you in Brooklyn…

Here’s another gem from Hizzonner: “People are pretty attuned to leaving if I say you have to leave so I don’t see that as being as much of a challenge ” he said.”

Jahwohl Herr Burgomeister. We are attuned to the voices in your head…Oops I said that I’d give up crazy jokes. You didn’t really believe me did you? Good. I write *about* delusional people not *for* them.

Here’s a potential campaign slogan for C Ray: Trust Nagin-Steady reliable and consistent in a crisis except when he changes his mind every 27 minutes. I guess that’s too long to be a good slogan. Oh well. Btw twenty years ago I would have asked C Ray what he was smoking and where I could score some…

STUPIDITY IS IN THE AIR

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 16:31:59

Item-1  Why Get Paid For Abandoned Cars When You Can Pay $23 Million To Have Them Towed? That may set a record for longest item heading in the lifetime of this blog. It’s sort of my answer to Nick Lowe’s (What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace Love and Understanding. Anyway a truly bizarre example of NOLA City Hallthink popped up in yesterday’s Picayune. It seems that a car crushing company is willing to pay Debrisville $100 per car to remove some 50 000 junked flooded and otherwise abandoned vehicles littering our streets. That would add up to $5 million for the nearly empty city coffers. Instead C Ray and his krewe of clones plan to pay $23 million to have someone tow the cars away. While there are some legal issues to be dealt with it’s nearly 7 months post-K and if folks haven’t taken care of their dead cars by now they never will. Besides according to Tulane Law Professor 2002 Mayoral Candidate and all-around good guy Vernon Palmer: “…the law is on the city’s side…Palmer cites city ordinance 66-101 a measure enacted during the Moon Landrieu administration to cope with a glut of abandoned cars that had accumulated over several years.

“They were talking about 2 000 or 3 000 cars and that was considered a crisis ” he noted dryly.

The ordinance is still on the books and it states that “junked abandoned and wrecked vehicles ” can be crushed and dismantled and sold for scrap 15 days after a certified letter is sent to its last known owner Palmer said. History shows the law which essentially turns the junkers into potential cash and leaves the solution to market forces worked.

“It’s not a very complicated way to deal with this ” Palmer said. “Once operators knew they could get the scrap value of the cars that quickly got the job done and they disappeared pretty fast. It seems to me that if you had a contractor operating within the guidelines of the ordinance it could be done.”

So let’s see we either pay out $23 million or someone pays us to remove the dead cars? Seems like a no brainer to everyone but the Nagin administration which specializes in making things worse. It’s also just plain STUPID.

Item-2  Second-Line Shooting In Central City: For the second time post-K some vicious cretin took advantage of a public gathering to shoot and kill someone he had a grudge against. An innocent bystander was also shot and the cops shot the perp in the thigh. Too bad they didn’t aim a bit to the left and give this vicious moron a pain in the johnson…

Item-3  B-Stupid Be Busted:  Sociopathic blood-thirsty idiot Ivory (B-Stupid) Harris was arrested yesterday for killing someone 7 blocks from Adrastos World HQ. He joins his accomplice and fellow gangbanger Jerome (Man Man) Hampton in the slammer.  B-Stupid is also the suspect in a string of evacuee murders in Houston. May he rot in Angola for a very long time…

 It’s A Crazy Kim Sign Of The Times/The Boss Does Jazz Fest

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 19:59:54

Item-1 It’s A Crazy Kim Sign Of The Times: Just when I was suffering from Crazy Kim withdrawal syndrome which causes one to embarrass oneself in public and wear humongous earrings I saw this in the local rag’s account of the Mayoral debate“A few hours before the telecast began another odd chapter in the ongoing soap opera starring Butler unfolded outside the federal courthouse where she was sentenced Monday. About 30 supporters picketed on her behalf carrying either fluorescent pink or green handwritten posters: “Honk to Free Kimberly ” “Kimberly for Mayor” and “Kim Possible.”

But no members of the crowd which included several teen-agers and children were willing to say why they were there or how they knew the clerk. “We can’t comment ” one man said as he marched past with his sign in front of U.S. District Court. “The sign says more than enough.”

I wonder if the Five Man Electrical Band were there playing their moldy oldie “Signs.” It *was* an anti-establishment tune after all:
“Sign sign everywhere a sign. Blockin’ out the scenery breakin’ my mind. Do this don’t do that can’t you read the sign?”

Of course Crazy Kim flies a different kind of freak flag than the hippies in the song but a freak is a freak is a freak. Of course in the vernacular of the early Seventies Crazy Kim is a Jesus freak man. Time for the obligatory Zappa reference when the word freak is used: hungry freaks daddy. Ahh I love blogging; where else could you couple Zappa and Kimba? One is alas long dead whereas the other is merely brain dead…

Back to what passes for reality in the Crazy Kim saga. If I had one I’d bet the ranch that the peeps picketing were either Kim’s employees or members of her bible thumping church.

Item-2 The Boss Does Jazz Fest: Quint Davis made a lot of people’s day when he announced that Bruce Springsteen will be playing Jazz Fest. The Boss and the Seeger Sessions Band will be closing out the first weekend of the Fest on Sunday April 30th. Now I may have to break down and go to the fricking Acura Stage for the first time in years.

It’s unclear who will be in the band but they’ll obviously be playing songs from Bruce’s upcoming album “We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions.” The album will consist of 13 folk songs associated with the great Pete Seeger.

Welcome back to Debrisville Bruce.

Below two American heroes. I think John Kerry just spotted Crazy Kim in the crowd and is telling Bruce they need to tough it out; no retreat no surrender:

The Unholy Trinity: Crazy Kim, C Ray & Oliver

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:33:51

That’s just a catchy title. As y’all know I like Oliver Thomas but I do think he should have stuck to his guns and not backed down just because he’s a nice guy. I should ask Mike Hammer to advise Oliver on being a hard ass. On with the circus:

Item-1 Crazy Kim and The Judges: As everyone knows Crazy Kim is in the slammer today. Neither she nor her lawyer was willing to apologize to the Judges until AFTER they sentenced her to jail. Her lawyer should also be jailed for contempt AND for giving Kimba preposterous legal advice. Repeat after me: malpractice. I cannot believe that they stood up in front of a panel of Judges and the best they could come up with was: I changed my mind and I didn’t want to do it. Even after hearing these ridiculous arguments Judge Johnson gave her every chance to avoid jail. The whole thing was about publicity and drama.

The irony is that before pulling her nutty antics Crazy Kim might have had a case against the merits of the Supreme Court’s ordering her to appoint Ed Lombard to deal with FEMA. It’s not clear if they can tell her how to run her office. This sorry episode illustrates why we need to combine the two clerks offices and make the sole clerk of courts an appointive civil service position. The Judges should run their courts not some wild-eyed crazy politician. We also should make the registrar of voters the chief elections officer in the parish. There’s no logical reason that the clerk of criminal court should run elections. Welcome to pre-K Crazytown y’all.

Item-2 C Ray- They Don’t Look Like Us: Yes folks that’s a direct quote from C Ray to a group of African-American exiles in Houston. He’s describing most of the rest of the Mayoral candidates. You don’t have to be a Repub to pose the following question: what if Peggy Wilson or Mitch Landrieu went to the Rex Den or Boston club and said the same thing about C Ray? They’d be pilloried and rightly so.

C Ray has obviously decided that playing divide and conquer is the only way he can get re-elected. I think that dealing the race card from the bottom of the deck is a mistake. It probably forfeits any chance C Ray had of regaining the goodwill he had  pre-K. Then he was looking at a landslide re-election victory without a serious challenger. He used to be that popular. I think a better strategy would be to admit mistakes say he’s learned from them and remind people how much they liked him on 8/28/05.

C Ray may eke out a victory this way BUT look at what has happened to a certain President’s support this year. In both 2002 and 2004 the Bushies demonized vilified and lied about their opponents. They dried up the reservoir of goodwill that US Presidents usually have for Presidents of either party. Now Bush’s approval ratings are between 34% to 39% in the polls and headed lower towards Carter/Nixon/Truman country. That’s the poisoned fruit of Earl Rove of Turd Blossom’s scorched earth tactics and if C Ray is re-elected taking the low road he’ll face the same sort of problems.

Something else that bothers me is that the local press has ducked his latest controversy; they’re back in booster mode. BUT there is one exception: Ace Picayune political columnist Stephanie Grace tackles the issue head-on. Way to go Stephanie.

As always a musical reference springs to mind the Peter Gabriel classic “Not One Of Us.” No no no you’re not one of us. I wonder if C Ray sings this tune to his Repub magnate friends like Joe Cannizzaro and Boysie Bollinger…

Item-3 Oliver Twisted? Council Prez Oliver Thomas addressed the same group C Ray spoke to and expressed regret over using the term “soap opera watchers” about projects residents. But his substantive position remained unchanged. It’s a pity that Oliver beat a tactical retreat in front of dour political types who wouldn’t know a memorable phrase if it hit them upside the head. He could have called the minority of projects residents much worse things and still have been telling the truth. The terms crack ho junkie wife beater and gangbanger spring to mind to apply to roughly 5% to 10% of the former residents of various projects in Debrisville. It was a minority that terrorized the majority of residents who just want to live in peace. Those folks don’t want their predators back either so why should groups like ACORN?

Item-4 Dollar Bill Watch: It has now been 19 days since the WaPo published its “Dollar Bill is going down” article. The local press continues to ignore the story.

Mike Hammer Wimps Out

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 06:00:00

I am of course referring to the NOLA investment banker Mike Hammer who ended his mayoral campaign with a whimper by not even qualifying instead he endorsed Gorilla Ron Forman. His well-known fictional counterpart Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer is outraged. Regular readers of this blog know that the real albeit fictional Mike Hammer is a recurring visitor to the Adrastos Virtual Cafe and he’s my guest blogger today. Take it away enraged fictional person:

An Open Letter From Mike Hammer to Mike Hammer: Give Me Back My Name-

Hey Mikey what the hell were ya thinking? I thought you were a stand up guy but now you’ve folded your tent and wanna slink off in the night like a weenie. I never figured you for a wuss who’d be scared off by a guy named Clarence. Imagine that: Clarence Ray Fucking Nagin. Chocolate city, schmocolate city. I was counting on you to slap some sense into C Ray pally. I’m fucking disappointed Mikey, you share my name so I share your shame. Damn, I’m rhymin’ like that preachin’ pol from Chicago now and it’s down to you Mikey boy. Look what you’ve driven me to. There’s not enough whiskey in the world to drown my sorrows tonight.  Not even my Sinatra records can make me feel better. And if the chairman of the board can’t pick a man up slap him around and make him whole again nothin’ can. I’m also blue because Darren McGavin who played me on the tube in the Fifties died last week and I was too busy shaking down drunks for beads on Bourbon Street to go to the funeral.  It’s just me and Stacy Keach left now so I gotta be careful. I dunno why an actor who played me has got a girl’s name but he’s a stand up guy in spite of it.

We Mike Hammers gotta stick together and you let me down, pally. It hurts man.I got an idea how you can make this right Mikey boy. Give my back my name. That’s right. It was mine long before you were a bun in the oven or even a glint in your lecherous pa’s eye. Give me back my name. Got a nice ring to it don’t it? My pal Adrastos tells me that there’s a rock song of that name  by some combo called Talking Heads. Now except for Elvis I don’t go in for that rock-n-roll crapola; give me Sinatra, Eckstine, Torme, and broads like Ella, Rosie, and Sarah any day.  But those Talking Heads they got a point Mikey boy. Give me back my name. I know their singer is a doofus in a big suit but even a dork can make sense some of the time. Tell ya what Mikey boy give me back my name and I’ll leave you be. I won’t even kick your ass for supporting that poser Gorilla Ron. A guy named Mike Hammer should be for the working stiffs and that Gorilla Ron is just a stiff. Here’s my final offer: give me back my name and I’ll go easy on you pally.

Mike Hammer

Back to you Adrastos:

Thanks Mike. Those were lenient terms. Btw, the doofus in the big suit is named David Byrne and he stopped making sense years ago. And Mike I think Adrian Monk coined the perfect term to describe Banker Mike Hammer: he’s a muss; part man and part wuss. Yeah I know, Monk is too tidy for your taste Mike but you gotta admit he’s one helluva shamus…

Heroes Of The Storm

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 06:00:00

I nearly forgot to mention something really great that happened during Carnival. Dr. A and I met for the first time 2 people who helped us (and many other people) while we were in exile. In the first 5 to 7 days post-K Dr. A and I were cut off from all news reports except for the shrill and hysterical take of the national press; everything Uptown was the Garden District to those fools. If knowledge was power we were completely powerless. And scared apprehensive frightened nervous jittery; you name it.

The internet was our salvation. A few days after the storm I began to track down friends and neighbors and tried to recreate my neighborhood email list so that we could exchange whatever information we could glean. I also started reading the bulletin boards at NOLA.com which is the Picayune’s web site. It was there that I had my virtual encounter with Erin McGlothiln who was posting as Daisy Cat. Erin’s brother Drew the taxi driver lives 6 blocks from me. He didn’t evacuate pre-K and stayed in town as long as he could post-K. Drew’s land line never stopped working and he kept in touch with his sister on the phone. And Erin posted what she heard from Drew online. It was via Erin’s reports that I first learned that the flood waters had ebbed at St. Charles Avenue and that there were no signs of looting in my neighborhood. I emailed Erin and asked her if Drew could check my house out on one of his walks. Thanks to Drew I learned that while the Moron’s tree *had* hit our house there seemed to be minimal damage to the house itself. We were able to take a deep breath and kind of relax knowing that our worst fears were not realized. And Dr. A and I were not the only people helped by Drew and Erin.

So last Saturday I finally met Drew and Erin and thanked them for their help. They both insisted that they hadn’t done that much and their modesty endeared them even more to me.  They were fear eradication specialists for many Uptown exiles when things were at their murkiest and we’ll never forget what they did. Thanks again y’all.

Sing, Mitch, Sing/A Soap Opera: Oliver, C Ray and Dr. House

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 06:00:00

Item-1  Sing Mitch Sing: Singin’ Lt. Governor Mitch Landrieu threw his hat in the Mayoral race ring today. Mitchell oughta consider putting his hat back on: the man is seriously bald but he’ll be a better Mayor than the current bald guy. Landrieu’s entrance into the race gives us a chance to ponder what his campaign theme song should be. Mitchell is a tenor so any number of Temptations songs spring to mind but “Ball Of Confusion” may well be the most appropriate. Hit it Mitchell: “Ball of confusion that’s what New Orleans is today hey hey. Ball of confusion time for C Ray to go away hey hey.”

Item-2  A Soap Opera: Oliver C Ray and Dr. House: Token City Council grownup and gifted amateur thespian Oliver Thomas who is African-American wants to change the culture in Debrisville’s housing projects aka the Bricks: “We don’t need soap opera watchers right now we need workers.”

Oliver also reassured law abiding New Orleanians that the City will no longer allow the Bricks to be breeding grounds for crack dealing trigger-happy homicidal gangbangers who mostly prey on other black folks. Let them stay in Houston or Dallas where there’s more to steal; in the immortal words of Tom Petty “don’t come around here no more.” That *used* to be C Ray’s position too but now he’s criticizing Oliver for being too blunt. Today he said that he wants “everyone to come home.” Are you nuts C Ray? Oh yeah that’s right he is…

I’m  proud of Oliver for having the guts to speak so plainly and bluntly. He’s also refused to backtrack or soften his words. Way to go Oliver. In a perfect Adrastos political world Oliver would be the next Mayor and Mitchell the next Governor.

It will be interesting to see which of his old friends C Ray or Mitchell gets Oliver’s endorsement. I bet a tenner on the tenor: C Ray has treated Oliver like warmed over shit post-K and never listened to him pre-K.

Back to Oliver’s soap opera imagery. I can actually think of one soap opera watcher who *could* help us: Dr. Gregory House of Fox-TV fame. Mind you he’s a fictional doctor but he’s a brilliant one and he’s addicted to “General  Hospital” as well as vicodan and non-PC wisecracks. Besides he’s played by Hugh Laurie who’s one of the funniest people on the planet; just thinking of his Bertie Wooster makes me cackle titter and giggle. We could all use a few laughs here in Debrisville.

Paging Dr. House emergency come right away and bring Jeeves along while you’re at it. Indeed sir.

Family Affair Redux: The Formans, Heatons & Arnolds

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 15:29:35

Item-1  Sally Forman’s Resignation Love Letter: Leave it to the gossipy New Orleans politics column in the local rag to help fill in some of the blanks on the Forman Saga. They published former flack Forman’s resignation letter which sounds like either a Valentine or an endorsement of C Ray. Check this  out: “Forman who until just a few days before Ron Forman’s announcement was telling reporters she was sure her husband would not run concluded the letter to Nagin: “I know we will continue our friendship for years to come and look forward to supporting your efforts to Bring New Orleans Back!”

Ms. Forman said that she was quitting to focus on her family but made no mention of the elephant in the room: her mayor wannabe husband Gorilla Ron. Yeah I know that was a mixed animal metaphor but it’s cold here so my brain is frozen. 

Here’s a fortune cookie-like summary of today’s lesson in family values: Debrisville politics are like a box of animal crackers and a political spouse must understand animal husbandry. Please pass the Kung Po chicken…

Item-2 Family Ties & the 7 Dwarfs: The sitcom titles keep flying here at the Adrastos Virtual Cafe. The family ties in question have nothing to do with Michaels J Fox or Gross. (I’ll get to Michael Brown later today or tomorrow.) We’re talking the Orleans Parish Tax Assessors aka the 7 Dwarfs. Yesterday a state house committee killed the bill that would transform the 7 Dwarfs into the Jolly Green Giant. Two of the members voting to kill the change were: Alex Heaton the brother of  current assessor Sleepy Heaton who succeeded their father; and Jeff Arnold whose father Grumpy under assesses property on the West Bank.
In fact my assessor Dopey Coman just followed his mother into office and she in turn succeeded her husband. 

Both Heaton and Arnold denied that there was any conflict of interest in voting to save Sleepy and Grumpy’s jobs. Instead of family values this involves family valuations or the lack thereof…

I don’t usually give a damn about goo-goo issues like this one but I hate blatant nepotism. And the 7 Dwarfs are more dynastic than the Bushs Clintons and the Windsors combined. Yo Dwarfs if the Big Apple and Chicago can muddle through with only 1 assessor so can the Big Uneasy.