WOMBAT MANIA

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 05:22:13

Wombat Mania

It’s a northern hairy nosed Homan wombat.

Some days I hate the internets but most days I love it. Where else could I learn more than I ever wanted to know about northern hairy nosed wombats at a site called Wombania.com? Where else could I learn that the Australian Treasury Secretary plans to spend his vacation babysitting wombats? The wombats are an endangered species down under and said Aussie Labour pol Ken Henry plans to do his bit to help said wombats survive. I applaud Mr. Henry’s wombat mania and for inspiring me to keep writing the word wombat which is one of the silliest words known to man woman child or I daresay wombat. Thanks Mr. Henry.

In all seriousness I hope that the wombat survives; hairy nose and all. I may not be as wombatty as some Ozzies because all I knew about the critters before tonight was that my high school crony David wrote a song called Wombat. Our little adolescent garage band used to play it but the lyrics were very un-PC so I shan’t repeat them here. All I can say is that wombat mania rocks.

Since we never recorded David’s little ditty there are no songs about wombats on YouTube; so here’s Oz’s own Midnight Oil doing a tune that is NOT about wombats. Damn I love that word. Must stop must stop…

Btw the Midnight Oil connection is less far fetched than it may seem. The Oil’s lead singer Peter Garrett is one of Henry’s cabinet colleagues he’s the minister for environment heritage and the arts. I suspect he’s a wombat fancier and/or marsupial maven as well.

Finally whilst YouTubing I learned that there is indeed a band called the Wombats and they’re not only Liverpudlians (another word I love) but also pretty good:

The key comment follows:

Holly

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 02:20:22 I love this. We’re a WOMBAT household… my husband’s nickname became wombat years ago as a co-op worker during college (the nickname was based on ‘a wombat’ as Waste Of Money Brains And Time) and since then, as a telecommuter for a group of 5 with 3 of them having the same name, it became his professional name. Wombat is on his business cards and for years, many of his co-workers didn’t know his first name. Some people thought that he didn’t even exist — we were flown up for an office party where I overheard two people saying that ‘they heard WOMBAT was there!!!!’ and wondering if it was a man or a woman. Anyway. This post totally made our night.

Adrastos Mon, 30 Jun 2008 02:37:38 Holly: Glad to be of service. Now I’m *really* glad that I didn’t quote those lyrics…

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WE DIDN’T DROP IT

 Sun, 13 Apr 2008 03:21:57

Ashley’s funeral was a real Tale Of Two Cities moment: it was the best of times and the worst of times. There were many tears and much laughter. The speeches by Ray Oyster and two old friends of Ashley were fabulous; especially Ray’s take on Kermit Ruffins’ This Is New Orleans. And Howie Luvzus did a great job presiding over the event as the minister selected by the atheist…

My main fear about being a pallbearer didn’t happen: we didn’t drop the coffin; mostly thanks to Mr. Clio and Dillyberto. It *almost* slipped once but we didn’t screw up. Of course Ashley would have been the first to laugh if we’d dropped the casket…

The Jazz procession at the cemetery was led by Ashley’s favorite the Hot 8 Brass Band. The entombment was the hardest part of the day but the second line after it and the subsequent wake we’re joyful as hell. We drank too much swore too much and toasted the Mime repeatedly. 

I’ve posted Dr. A’s pictures at our Flickr site. LINK.  Derek Howie and Karen have posted some snaps of the Jazz funeral as well.  

UPDATE: Lisa Pal and Maitri have also posted pictures. 

HOMANIA MEETS OPRAHMANIA

Wed, 09 Apr 2008

My evil twin Michael Homan seems once again to have lost his senses that is  if he ever had them to begin with. He has a lovely wife  two beautiful kids and at least one friend but now he’s pregnant by Oprah? He probably did this to spite me: I’m a serious Oprahphobe. Bastard. I’m not sure if this rises to level of fuckmookery  but it’s damn close. Malaka…

Is it kicking or did he just burp? Only Homan and Oprah know for sure…

Homan responds by calling me names like a snarky 3rd grader.

GUTTED

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:18:12

I was just about to sit down and write a post mocking the Mayor but decided to check my email first. I had some truly terrible news my friend and fellow blogger Ashley Morris died Wednesday morning. He was a wonderful friend father and husband. I’m stunned numb and in shock right now. Ashley was the first NOLA blogger I met and he *always* had my back. I miss him already.

THE STOOGEUM

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:39:08

Stooged

The traditional museum is a highbrow or at least middlebrow place. Things are changing. There are now all sorts of non-traditional museums including one devoted to the emphatically lowbrow comedy team the Three Stooges. The Stoogeum is run by a guy who’s married to Larry Fine’s niece. Larry of course was the stooge with the Jewfro who was relentlessly bullied by the tyrannical Moe.

I’d never heard of the Stoogeum until last week when Dr. A sent me a link to a story about it in the WaPo last week. It’s somewhat ironic because like most women Dr. A doesn’t care for the knockabout dumbshit slapstick that’s the specialty of the Stooges. She is however a good sport who has resisted the temptation to use a wrench on my nose a la Moe. Nyuk nyuk nyuk.
The great comedian David Steinberg had a classic routine about the Stooges which alas is nowhere to be found on the internets. The Steinbergian thesis was that the Stooges were archetypal figures and that all guys fit into a Stoogian category. Howzat for highbrowing up the lowbrow? I’m not sure that I entirely agree but it’s fun to contemplate. Moe was the ego Curly the id Larry the doormat with Shemp being somewhere between Curly and Moe. As applied to the NOLA political scene: C Ray is definitely a Curly,  Marc Morial a Mo,e and Arnie Fielgood is a Larry to the core. Among the NOLA bloggers Loki and Ashley are clearly Curlys but there’s a dearth of Moes or eenie meenies for that matter. I think Jeffrey has some Shempian tendencies. Note the resemblance:

Shemped

I’m just busting his chops y’all. Dr. A in fact thinks that Mr. Gloomy Pants is the cutest boy blogger and Shemp wasn’t exactly a matinee idol. He had a face that could stop a clock. I don’t think there are any Larrys among the NOLA bloggers and if there are calling someone a Larry isn’t very nice and I’m working on my image. I want people to answer the phone when I call at 3 AM even if I’m doing The Curly Shuffle:

I’m not really a hardcore Stoogemaniac. When it comes to comedy teams from the distant past I’m more of a Marx Brothers guy but it’s fun to bloviate about the Stooges. It’s also quite insulting to compare anybody to one of the Stooges as someone soitenly knew when they photoshopped this image of some Arizona Republican pols:

Three Arizona Stooges

McCain is definitely all Moe. Me, I’m just a wise guy.

IDIOT MAYOR PICTURE CONTROVERSY UPDATE

IDIOT MAYOR PICTURE CONTROVERSY UPDATE

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 20:15:31

The Picayune has issued the following statement and apology to the dumbass Mayor they’ve been enabling for many years:

“A photo in some Metro sections Wednesday showed a laughing Mayor Ray Nagin pointing an M-4 rifle at Police Superintendent Warren Riley at a news conference to announce new crimefighting equipment purchased by the New Orleans Police Department.

A review of a video taken at the event shows that the camera captured a split second as the gun was being lowered that made it appear to be deliberately pointed at the chief. However the mayor clearly did not deliberately point the gun at Riley.

The photo prompted two letters and a razz on the editorial page criticizing the mayor which appeared in some Thursday editions. After a review of the video Wednesday night the razz and the letters were removed from Thursday’s later editions. Had editors seen the video earlier the letters and the razz would not have been published.

The newspaper regrets the error and apologizes to the mayor.”

Do I believe it? Maybe. The problem is that the TP has ZERO CREDIBILITY in regard to its coverage of Nagin. They have turned a blind eye to his tomfoolery cronyism and incompetence in the past. Every once in a while there’s some accurate coverage but it’s usually undermined by the paper’s relentless boosterism. I’d be interested in hearing what the photographer Eliot Kaminitz has to say. I simply do not believe anything his masters have to say on the subject of the Clown Mayor. 

UPDATE: Jeffrey has an excellent analysis of the whole mess over at the Yellow BlogAnd E at We Could Be Famous weighs in with a fine overview of the sad state of the City under Dallas Ray and Chief Riley. LINK. 


event shows that the camera captured a split second as the gun was being lowered that made it appear to be deliberately pointed at the chief. However the mayor clearly did not deliberately point the gun at Riley.

The photo prompted two letters and a razz on the editorial page criticizing the mayor which appeared in some Thursday editions. After a review of the video Wednesday night the razz and the letters were removed from Thursday’s later editions. Had editors seen the video earlier the letters and the razz would not have been published.

The newspaper regrets the error and apologizes to the mayor.”

Do I believe it? Maybe. The problem is that the TP has ZERO CREDIBILITY in regard to its coverage of Nagin. They have turned a blind eye to his tomfoolery cronyism and incompetence in the past. Every once in a while there’s some accurate coverage but it’s usually undermined by the paper’s relentless boosterism. I’d be interested in hearing what the photographer Eliot Kaminitz has to say. I simply do not believe anything his masters have to say on the subject of the Clown Mayor. 

UPDATE: Jeffrey has an excellent analysis of the whole mess over at the Yellow BlogAnd E at We Could Be Famous weighs in with a fine overview of the sad state of the City under Dallas Ray and Chief Riley. LINK. 

THE RETURN OF RENEE GILL-PRATFALL?

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 16:35:07

No the dipshit former Councilwoman and State Rep isn’t planning to run for office BUT she’s been nominated for an administrative position at Dollar Bill U SUNO. LINK. According to a former senior SUNO staffer Gill-Pratfall is completely unqualified to act as director of recruitment and a bunch of other stuff. But SUNO is one of the last places that the Klepto Congressman has any pull and RGP is a wholly owned subsidiary of Dollar Bill Inc. Is this a major scandal in the context of Debrisville muck? No but it *is* a travesty. Plus I love the nickname that I gave her so much that I never miss a chance to deploy it. Repeat after me: Gill-Pratfall.

In other tales of Debrisville muck: former Council Prez and convicted felon Oliver (the Bad Actor) Thomas’ friends held a political style fundraiser for his family. I have nothing against Oliver’s wife but he should have socked away his bribe money for a rainy day instead of once again putting the bite on campaign contributors. Oh well once a pol always a pol…

BEGIN THE BEGIN

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 05:38:41

REM was a great band before they jumped the shark sometime in the mid-Nineties. They were the *ultimate* indie band for much of the Eighties. (I expect some harumphing from some of my punkier colleagues.) They’re also from Athens Georgia which is of course where the University of Georgia is located. Although it’s hard to imagine super spaz front man Michael Stipe hollering “how bout dem dawgs ” ya never know. I know one thing: Stipe had weird hair before he adopted the Mr. Clean/Daddy Warbucks/Michael Jordan look. I don’t think a Southern white boy should ever wear a queue (aka Manchu pigtail.) Stipe looks like a cross between Bonanza’s Hop Sing and Elmer Fudd in the following video which was filmed during the Green tour in 1989:

I spent some time hanging out in the non-Hellenic Athens during my misspent youth. My friends Susan and Steve were temporary trailer trash (aka UGA students) at that point. In fact they lived in SIN for a while so they even had a “guest” trailer wherein they claimed for parental consumption that one of them lived. I spent a *really* uncomfortable night in the “guest” trailer: I was attacked by a kudzu crazed goat or something equally bizarre. (The preceding statement was a grotesque exaggeration which is probably a first on this blog.) I forgave them that as well as Susan’s downright Byzantine directions to the Athenian trailer park. And she has in turn forgiven me for teasing her relentlessly about said directions. So much so that Susan and Steve made like Bob Dylan and gave us shelter from the storm back in August 2005. Of course Susan’s directions to their house in Bossier City were a bit well different if you catch my drift.
I seem to be morphing into a vanity blogger before your very eyes. Of course I think that’s a contradiction in terms: all bloggers are vain and probably think this post is about them…

THE NEO-YIPPIES

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 06:00:10

It was a nasty Friday in New Orleans: gray damp and foggy which was fitting weather for the day after the debacle at City Hall. The weather also matched my mood but I did have a brief moment of clarity (sunshine?) when I realized who the loony left activists who have hijacked the public housing debate remind me of: Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin who dubbed themselves Yippies. In reality they were the Abbott and Costello of the Sixties New Left: they were in it for the theatre and nothing else.

Abbie HoffmanRubin-Pig

L: ABBIE HOFFMAN DEEP THINKER. R: JERRY RUBIN & A PIG.

I’ve heard from several people who were in the Council chamber at the beginning of the day that the whole punch-up looked staged to provoke an overreaction from the Council and cops. If that’s so it worked as did the gate rattling by the neo-Yippies outside. While it may have been great drama it was a disgrace: both the police and demonstrators acted badly. I intensely dislike the use of tasers; if applied to a person with heart problems they can be fatal. Mercifully that didn’t happen. Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.

I think that the neo-Yippies will only be in town for as long as they can have their antics splashed on teevee and all over the internet. What’s more worrisome is the way that more sincerely motivated local activists have allowed these clowns to hijack their cause. The neo-Yippies are in it for the theatre: they don’t care about poor people in New Orleans. They’re into bringing bullhorns into public meetings and live to brag about lying down in front of bulldozers. Drama for drama’s sake is what the Jay Arenas of the world crave. 

Back to the original Yippies: Hoffman and Rubin. They were experts at hijacking worthy causes and turning them into violent farces by provoking the police to use the weapons of the day: nightsticks and tear gas. On black Thursday we saw tasers and pepper spray used at our very own mini-riot. Here’s hoping that it’s not just a warm-up for a bigger conflagration.

Finally,  my favorite Abbie Hoffman story. At Woodstock Hoffman briefly commandeered a microphone during the Who’s set. The Who were neither Yippies nor Hippies so when Pete Townshend realized they were being upstaged by Hoffman he did the only sensible thing possible: he kicked the Yippie foole in the ass and off the stage. Talk about direct action…

 

THE MELEE AT CITY HALL

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 15:55:34

The best thing that can be said about the public housing debate/debacle is that it’s over. And it’s over not in the sense of the original Roy Orbison version but in the way that Michael Caine croaked the song at the end of Little Voice. The end came as a death rattle which led several of the national newscasts last evening. Another proud moment for us. Hey the punch-up might make Oddball on Countdown: Keith is quite fond of fights in legislative chambers after all. We begin in New Orleans…

In spite of all the lofty and moralistic rhetoric this episode brought out the worst in everyone. Of course cant and posturing always seems to do that. I’m inclined to think (wishfully?) that the most violent moments were initiated by non-locals. Why? New Orleans is a violent place but like good Mediterraneans NOLA violence is usually *personal* and not political. And thank God or whatever for that. Council meetings here feature a lot of screaming and posturing but not much punching until today that is.

I’m feeling somewhat Shakespearean tonight so all I can say is a pox on both your houses. I’ve also got the flu which makes me feel poxy or something like that and I’d love to use epoxy to seal certain mouths shut. The extremists on both sides made a rational debate on this complicated issue impossible so emotion and humbuggery were the order of the day. Pro-demolition forces-including the local rag-engaged in suspect and ofttimes slimy tactics and the pro-projects status quo demonstrators played right into their hands. The punch-up in the Council chambers provided cover for Carter and the Cynthias to vote yea. Are you happy Jay Arena? 

I’m too ill and disgusted to say more this evening and I’m not sure that I plan to revisit the subject in any event. Since I made a Roy Orbison reference at the beginning of the post I’ll end with some beauty amidst the ugliness now that it’s all over but the shouting: